9.7.06

Here's my contribution to your quality of life...


"New technology links people over greater distances, but cuts into face-to-face meeting time.
The number of people who say they have no one to talk to about important matters has more than doubled, according to a new study by sociologists at Duke University and the University of Arizona.
Increased use of the Internet, along with the number of hours people are spending at work, are factors contributing to a drastic decline in the number of close friends that Americans have.
The findings are published in the June 2006 issue of the journal American Sociological Review."



Turn off your damn computer and go make a new friend. Maybe someone with a face that doesn't require a monitor and a keyboard to talk to. It's been a pleasure posting. And I've enjoyed the interaction. This blog is done.

Stay funky.

6.7.06

4.7.06

Willie Neslon's ecclesiology is better than most evangelicals'.

Nelson seen here demonstrating his one point plan for church growth and revitalization. Hooray, Willie!

She thinks the fireworks were just for her.


Leonora Illuminata, 19.5 inches, 6 lbs 11
"Ella" was born Monday morning, July 3rd at 7:20 AM. Everyone is doing well.
We all need sleep. Except Ella. She's sleeping great.

26.6.06

Best Name for a Book I've Heard in a Long Time!


Subjective artists are one-eyed, but objective artists are blind.
- Georges Rouault

9.6.06

Helping the Poor is Fun.

Here is a great post from KDNY on his blog.

7.6.06

Another good one...

Boyish Imagination

Douglas Wilson

Part of the legacy we have (if you want to call it that) from the Romantic movement is the idea that discipline and imagination go ill together. Creativity and imagination must burble forth spontaneously from the artistic heart, we think. However, the more we have encouraged this notion, the uglier our surroundings get. Something is wrong somewhere.

Because we think that discipline and imagination cannot be friends, we therefore choose between them. We opt for discipline, as most Christians do, rejecting imagination, or we embrace imagination, saying farewell to the discipline. It rarely occurs to us to consider the possibility of feeding, nourishing and disciplining the imagination in the light of Scripture. C.S. Lewis observed this tendency when he said of much modern art and literature that it was "mere puddles of spilled sensibility or reflection." He saw that it is often the case that greater care and work goes into low-brow art. But, he warned, "Do not misunderstand. The high-brow productions may, of course, reveal a finer sensibility and profounder thought. But a puddle is not a work, whatever rich wines or oils or medicines may have gone into it."†
Boys have a vivid imaginative life. Boys also require a good bit of discipline. It should not be surprising that one of the boyish attributes needing discipline is consequently the imagination. When this is done right, our sons will grow up into very effective culture warriors. But when this is neglected, boys drift into dangerous territory. Without instruction and discipline, a vivid imagination becomes a hothouse for all kinds of sin. A hunger for easy glory can become an excuse for indolent daydreaming, and of course, when a boy is sexually undisciplined, having a vivid imagination is the last thing he needs.
Because of this, many Christian parents have simply opted to suppress or starve the imaginative life, apparently on the theory that if there is no imagination there will be no imaginative sinning. This is quite true, but it is true in the same sense as when children aren't given any food, they will escape eating disorders—because they are dead. When discipline is chosen over imagination, the result is a disciplined life, what is left of it.
Discipline of the imagination is positive, not negative. It is not applied by spanking unimaginative bottoms. Rather, boys are taught to discipline this aspect of their hearts and minds through being taught the beauty of the gospel, the power of the gospel, and how far God intends the effects of the gospel to extend.
The story of the gospel is a glorious story. We do not tell our children about it because we think of the gospel as a set of propositions in the sky, not a series of great deliverances fought and accomplished on Earth.
We start where Christians must always start, with the story about the seed of the woman triumphing over the seed of the serpent. We tell the story of Jesus Christ, as Scripture does, with our Lord in the role of the dragon slayer. The serpent in the first book of the Bible is also found in the last book, where he is described as that ancient serpent. He is the devil, the murderer from the beginning, crushed under the heel of the great son of Eve. God destroyed him who had the power of death, that is, the devil. Christ triumphed over the principalities and powers, humiliating them deeply. Christ is the archtype of all dragon-slayers, the archtype of all giant killers. As He put it, when He bound the strong man, He stripped him of all his panoply. Christ defeated the devil and made off with his armor.
But He did not do this so that we could sit and watch. We are to watch, consider, imitate, and then take care to tell our sons the stories about the wars. We always begin with the war as won by Christ, but we remember that He commanded us, in our turn, to preach the gospel to every creature, to disciple all the nations, and throw down every enemy that sets himself against the course of the gospel.
The saints have been doing this for a long time. And this is why we tell our sons the story of Beowulf and how he killed the twisted descendents of Cain, and then how he gave his life killing the dragon. This is why we tell stories about St. George and the dragon. This is why we are to talk about great King Alfred, fighting off heathen invaders. And this is even why we read to wide-eyed boys the wonderful story of Jim, who allowed that he would blow Israel Hand's brains out. We tell the great story of Shasta, who turned back to face the lion. We must read The Lord of the Rings to our sons, more than once.
But our lack of imagination has us by the throat. We fuss and bother about this. Treasure Island is a work of fiction, we mutter. The Horse and His Boy is a work of fiction about a nonexistent world, for crying out loud. St. George is probably not a historically verifiable incident. And Gandalf is a wizard.
I can think of no better or truer reply to all this than to paraphrase that of Puddleglum when he was confronted with a similar argument. Fine. These are all works of fiction. But they tell a truer story—and far more real—than the empty, cavernous, and very dark world in which many parents want their hollow-souled children to live.

Word for word the best advice I ever read about raising boys.

Future Men

Douglas Wilson

As much as it may distress us, our boys are future men.

I was once leading a seminar for teachers at our Christian school and, in the course of discussion, I mentioned that many of the girls in the school would, within a few short years, be adult women and would take their place in our midst. The teachers heard all this with aplomb, but when I went on to say that within a few short years the boys they were instructing would be lawyers, airline pilots, pastors, etc. the looks on the faces of the assembled teachers ranged from concern to mild panic. Boys take a lot of faith.
This is good because the presence or absence of faith reveals whether or not we have a biblical doctrine of our future. Unbelief is always anchored to the present, while faith looks at that which is unseen. But even here we only get half the picture. Too often we think that faith only looks at unseen heavenly things, but this truncated approach is really the result of an incipient gnosticism. In the Bible, faith includes the ability to see that which is unseen because it is still future. According to the text, Abraham rejoiced to see the day of Christ, not the day when he, Abraham, would go to heaven. Faith conquers kingdoms, faith stops the mouths of lions, faith turns armies to flight, and faith brings boys up to a mature and godly masculinity.
But another qualification must be added. The faith exhibited by wise parents of boys is the faith of a farmer, or a sculptor, or anyone else engaged in the work of shaping unfolding possibilities. It is not the faith of someone waiting around for lightning to strike; it is the faith of someone who looks at the present and sees what it will become—through grace and good works.
Countless examples may be multiplied from any given day in the life of a small boy. Say a boy breaks a chair because he was jumping on it from the bunk bed. Unbelief sees the cost of replacing the chair. Faith sees aggressiveness and courage, both of which obviously need to be channeled and disciplined. Suppose a boy gets into a fight protecting his sister. Unbelief sees the lack of wisdom that created a situation that could have been easily avoided; faith sees an immature masculinity that is starting to assume the burden of manhood.
Unbelief squashes; faith teaches. Faith takes a boy aside, and says that this part of what you did was good, while that other part of what you did got in the way. “This is how to do it better next time.”
This issue of fighting provides a good example of how necessary such distinctions are. Of course parents do not want to encourage fighting in their sons. But this is not the only item on the menu. Neither do they want to encourage abdication and cowardice. There are times when men have to fight. It follows that there will be times when boys have to learn how to fight, how to walk away, how to turn the other cheek, when to turn the other cheek, and when to put them up. If boys don’t learn, men won’t know. And boys will not learn unless their fathers teach.
When Theodore Roosevelt was at Harvard, he taught Sunday School for a time at Christ Church, until he was dismissed. A boy showed up one Sunday with a black eye. He admitted he had been fighting, and on a Sunday too. He told the future President that a bigger boy had been pinching his sister, and so he fought him. TR told him that he had done perfectly right and gave him a dollar. The vestrymen thought this was a bit much, and so they let their exuberant Sunday school teacher go.
Unbelief cannot look past the surface. If there was any sin involved, unbelief sees only the sin. Faith sees what was turned aside to the service of sin and seeks to turn it back again. Sin is parasitic and cannot function without some good attributes that it seeks to corrupt. Consequently, faith must distinguish that which must be preserved and developed and that which must be abandoned as sin.
In addition, faith also sees the godliness in what many pietists have come to call sin. At the beginning of his life, a boy does not know what century he was born in, and consequently exhibits to many of his politically correct and aghast elders some of the same traits exhibited by the boyhood chums of Sennacherib and Charlemagne. He doesn’t know any better—yet. But in our day, many of these created masculine traits are drilled out of him by the time he is ten. Faith resists this ungodly process, and defines sin by the Scriptures, and not by pietist traditions.
So faith is central in bringing up boys, but it is important to remember that the faith is not faith in the boy. It is faith in God, faith in His promises, faith in His wisdom. Faith concerns the boy, and the boy can see that it concerns him. Parents are to believe God for their sons, which is a very different thing than believing their sons.
Faith is not wishful thinking; faith apprehends the promises of God found in Scripture. “The children of thy servants shall continue, and their seed shall be established before thee” (Ps. 102:28). Faith sees a son as established, and the work of faith goes on to establish him. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
God is the One who places a particular boy in a particular home. And He does so in order that those parents who believe and obey Him might come to delight in a wise son. “My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine. Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things” (Prov. 23:15-16).

2.6.06

whatsthebuzztellmewhatsahappenin'

1. The Annual Exodus is under way at the church. Each year between June and Septmeber we lose a bunch of people mostly due to job changes, graduation, marriage, moving, that sort of thing. Our church draws lots of twenty and thirty somethings which is a very traqnsient demongraphic, and given that most of our people are also quite educated, it means they are at the beginning of thier careers and are looking to move on, move up, or move away. It's a pretty bittersweet experience, as we hate to see peopel go for two reasons. First, because we like them! We grow close to people and it's always hard to say goodbye. Second, because we are still trying to reach and maintain critical mass with respect to congregation size at our new plant. Everything is two steps forward and one step back. But it's also very exciting to see ho God is moving people into positions of leadership and service alover the world (literally!) from our little congregation right here in central city Columbus. We get about 12 to 24 months with people at our church and in that time we fill them with the gospel as quickly as we can and try to give people a radically christ centered and grace centered lense through which to view all of life! So when people leave here, they think they are going to leave to be policemen, nurses, attorneys, mothers and teachers, students and doctors, scholars and astro-physicists. But they're only partly right. What they don't suspect is that they aren't leaving as much as being sent. And we're sending them as missionaries to the corners of the earth, with a radically grace centered perspective on the world that is absolutely upside down and backwards compared to every other view. At least that's what we're trying to do. Pray God brings new friends to us in the coming year even as he blesses our current friends in their new vocations and locations.
2. Charity is due in just six short weeks. However it seems she may have a disorder we struggled with in our first pregnancy. It wasn't very fun and is potentially dangerous for mother and child, though not so much if caught early and treated. This could bump up the delivery date quite a bit. So there's that.
3. Having our bathroom remodeled, our hot water heater replaced, new porch light put in, storm doors installed, uncovering the floors in the upstairs bedrooms to reveal beautiful hardwood floors some interior design genius covered forty years ago with grey linoleum tile, gave the dog a bath, re-organized my closet, some good people from afore mentioned church came oiver to landscape (while I napped!) and to help with the upstairs floors, and it got really really hot out this week.
4. A brilliant business idea I recently heard- For sale on hot summer days at various out door sporting events: frozen jock straps.
5. I have one beer left in the fridge. It's a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. My mother is always a little disappointed and uncomfortable when she comes to the house and I have beer in the fridge. I'm going to go drink my beer now. But what she doesn't realize is that every beer in the refridgerator is one beer not in my belly. Alas! I must go drink my last beer. Not because I want to. I'm only doing it for my mom. You understand.


"The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love." -- Law, the City of Augsburg, 13th Century

The 80's Were Totally Awesome.


I married the hot one.

Star Wars at COSI.




more photos from COSI





This must be why God invented the internet...

so hilarious high-jinks like these can be witnessed world wide.

29.5.06

Got four minutes and thirty nine seconds? Watch this.

Thought Provoking Album Review



Check out this record review and read all the way to the end. there are some interesting observations and insights to be found. I dig it. Here's a key portion:

"Anyone with a passing knowledge of Cash's career should surely realize that he did not keep his spiritual side separate from his work. His hard-won Christian faith played a crucial role in all of his songs, lending them a moral gravity. Conversely, his secular concerns lend his songs of praise a powerful conflicted quality, making them sound like the humble prayers of a repentant sinner. On Personal File, this separation restricts these songs and their meanings and melodies: Why wouldn't "Have a Drink of Water", about Jesus in Samaria, fit right alongside Cash's take on John Prine's "Paradise"? Or "The Engineer's Dying Child" alongside "My Children Walk in Truth"? What would this tell us about such a complex American figure? I recommend you shuffle the tracklist and find out for yourself."

Get Lonely.


Get Lonely is the title of the new Mountain Goats album due to hit the street in August. If you've not heard the Mountain Goats, I recommend checking them out. Start with The Sunset Tree.

Click the title to link to a cheery little number about a disintegrating marriage. Enjoy.

28.5.06

Giant Killer.



The guy on the bottom in this photo is world renowned Brazilian jiu jiuitsu artist and undefeated UFC world champion Royce Gracie. He's like the Babe Ruth of mixed martial arts fighting. The guy is a legend and he never loses. Ever.
However, if you examine the photo closely, you'll notice that there is another gentleman in teh picture as well. No not the referee. The other guy. The one perched on Gracie's back raining down fists of fury like it's 1988, he's thirteen and playing Mike Tyson's Super punch out all hopped up on Mountain Dew and pixie sticks. Ok, now do you see him? That guys is Matt Hughes. No nickname. Just Matt Hughes. He's a wrestler and lives on a farm in illinois. And he just dropped like a ton of bricks. It wasn't even close.

before.

after.


25.5.06

Everyone ought to be at least a one point Calvinist by now.

Please pray for mercy and justice for these women. And repentance for their enemies. An enemy of the powerless and the widow and the orphan is an enemy of Christ. And not the blue-eyed, cherub-faced baby Jesus, cooing gently in the manger. Enemies of the powerless and the widow and the orphan are enemies of this Jesus:

"Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man, clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest. The hairs of his head were white like wool, as white as snow. His eyes were like a flame of fire, his feet were like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and his voice was like the roar of many waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength.
When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades"

"Behold I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay everyone for what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end". [Revelation 1:12-18; 22:12-13]


_____________________________________________________

Psalm 58
Do you indeed decree what is right, you gods?
Do you judge the children of man uprightly?
No, in your hearts you devise wrongs;
your hands deal out violence on earth.

The wicked are estranged from the womb;
they go astray from birth, speaking lies.
They have venom like the venom of a serpent,
like the deaf adder that stops its ear,
so that it does not hear the voice of charmers
or of the cunning enchanter.

O God, break the teeth in their mouths;
tear out the fangs of the young lions, O Lord!
Let them vanish like water that runs away;
when he aims his arrows, let them be blunted.
Let them be like the snail that dissolves into slime,
like the stillborn child who never sees the sun.
Sooner than your pots can feel the heat of thorns,
whether green or ablaze, may he sweep them away!

The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance;
he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked.
Mankind will say, “Surely there is a reward for the righteous;
surely there is a God who judges on earth.”
_______________________________________________________

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

Hooray! New Tim Easton Album

Watch this short film.

24.5.06

I've Found an Application For the Imprecatory Psalms.

Why don't we care about this? I mean as a nation, or as an international community? Is it because these are women and the leaders of the industrialized world are men? Is it because they are black and the North American and European nations with the resources to address this situation are mostly not black? Is it because they are poor? Is it because they have no oil?
I don't think we're really interested in stopping terrorism.

Here is the US code definition of terrorism:

Sec. 2331. Definitions

As used in this chapter--
(1) the term ``international terrorism'' means activities that--
(A) involve violent acts or acts dangerous to human life
that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States
or of any State, or that would be a criminal violation if
committed within the jurisdiction of the United States or of any
State;
(B) appear to be intended--
(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;
(ii) to influence the policy of a government by
intimidation or coercion; or
(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass
destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and

(C) occur primarily outside the territorial jurisdiction of
the United States, or transcend national boundaries in terms of
the means by which they are accomplished, the persons they
appear intended to intimidate or coerce, or the locale in which
their perpetrators operate or seek asylum;

The Dogs Playing Poker Code

12.5.06

Baddest Man Ever.

This is one of those Olympic hype, special interest stories from the games in Australia a while back. The "baddest man ever" whom I am referring to is the subject of the story, not Bob Costas. Just didn't want anyone to be confused. My favorite part is when Karelin says "Wrestling is how I express myself". Some people journal in their notebooks, or play the piano and others pick up grown men and smash them into the ground face first. Consistently. For thirteen years.

Ironically, Karelin lost his very first (and last) match in the finals. He lost to a big doughy American named Rulon Gardner. Karelin was just getting a bit too old to compete at the same level. I think he was pushing 40 at the time of his last match. Now he serves in the Russian parliment. Did I mention the guy is also a genius?

If you have the guts to actually watch this video clip, I would not sit directly in front of the screen. Sit at like a 45 degree angle or something. We can't be sure that Karelin won't finish the taping of the segment and then reach his left arm through the video camera and six years into the future, just to grab you by the throat and yank you into your own computer monitor and back out onto the wrestling mat so he can pick you up and smash your face into the ground as well. I mean it probably won't happen, but why risk it, you know?

1.5.06

An Evening with Joel Olsteen! Only TEN BUCKS! What a bargain!

Yes, it's true. For only ten dollars, you can spend an evening with Joel Olsteen right here in Columbus, Ohio on May 12th. What a deal.

Of course for just the price of a 16oz Guiness, the Funky Presbyterian will let you hang out with him at Hound Dog's and listen to him crack jokes about televangelists. For free you can come to his church on Sunday evenings at 6pm, 237 West Second Avenue in the Short North. But there's no Guiness at the church. So... it's your call.

truly awesome

28.4.06

Buckeyes hire former Iowa Hawkeye Big Ten Champ as Head Coach

This guy was my coach at the Iowa Hawkeye's Intensive Training Camp back in high school. I think it was 1989 or 1990.

21.4.06

Star Sighting # 3

Tonight we went out to eat for Jason's birthday in Silver Lake and as we are driving down the street, Dara (Jason's wife) says, "Check out that guy. The one with the afro. He's totally walking like (and then she starts singing Staying Alive, Bee Gees style)". And she was right! This totally hip, dude with a big afro is walking down the side walk all by himself and the guy has got the mojo working. He is exuding confidence and coolness. He's clearly got his own private soundtrack in his head to which he is grooving. Then as our car slowly passes we turn to see the gentleman's face. And who is it? That's right. Lenny Kravitz.

The greatest thing about it is that even when he is by himself and just like, walking to the 7-11 for a big gulp or whatever, he exudes funk! His whole ethos shouted "That's Right. I'm Lenny Freakin' Kravitz". I have no doubt that after five days of crossing the Sahara on foot without water, the funk in Lenny's walk would be equally as pronounced. And under his breath he'd be muttering "Sahara deseret. Gimme a break. Sahara desert. Sahara? This ain't no Sahara. I'll tell you what it is. This is Lenny Kravit's desert. I'll tell you that right now. you think this is hot? This ain't hot. My one piece silverbell bottom jump suit is hot... Man, you don't know what hot is... do you realize who I am? I am Lenny Freakin' Kravitz, I'll tell you that right now...That's right. Lenny Kravitz..."

*Also, I was equally as excited to see the big red white and blue wall mural pictured on the cover of Elliott Smith's Figure 8 album. That was cool, too.

20.4.06

Britney Spears Statue

Some of you seem to think the Britney Spears statue is actually not pro-life, but rather a mockery. None of you however have offered any evidence or critical analysis to support such a view. I'm willing to listen. But you gotta give me SOMETHING, here people.

19.4.06

Star Sighting Number 2

When Charity and I were out here a few years ago, we saw Bruce Willis on Sunset in Hollywood. Tonight I walked past Rob Schneider in Pasadena. He's short!

17.4.06

don't fear the key-tar

Ben Folds brings power to people, sticks it to man

Ride to laundromat lands cabbie on sold-out stage

Douglas Richard "Rick" Shaw, 53, drives a cab for Lansing's Big Daddy Taxi.
On Monday, he took three men to Sunshine Laundromat & Dry Cleaners at Frandor Shopping Center. As far as Shaw knew, they were just three guys with dirty laundry.
While Shaw waited in the cab for the guys to drop off their stuff, he passed the time as he often does with his Hohner Golden Melody - an instrument that goes anywhere.
It was, in fact, the blues harp's portability that drew Shaw to it in 1971.
"I picked it up on my way to Vietnam," said Shaw, a former member of the U.S. Army. "It was easy to carry."
Shaw was just getting warmed up when the first guy came out of the laundromat and got in the cab. Shaw kept playing.
"Yeah - I like to show off," he admitted.
The guy chipped in with a little hands-on-knees percussion, and when his two buddies climbed back into Shaw's cab, they contributed more tapping and other sound effects. Suddenly, Shaw was backed by a whole rhythm section.

Unusual offer

One of the guys asked Shaw what he was doing later that day.
"I told them I was free," Shaw said.
The guy told Shaw to meet him at the back door of Wharton Center that night and he would put Shaw and his harmonica on stage.
Naturally, Shaw was skeptical to say the least: "I'm like, 'Yeah, right - Wharton. Who put you up to this?' "
Well, the stranger turned out to be Ben Folds, the singer-songwriter-pianist, who was, indeed, performing for a sold-out Wharton crowd that night.
In an e-mail to me, Ben Folds fan Brad Flory of Jackson described Shaw's big moment this way:
"Early in the show, Folds called out a Lansing cab driver named Rick Shaw to play blues harmonica.
"He more or less killed.
"Folds let him play on at least two more songs, gave him a vulgar spoken line during another song and threw his name into lyrics a few times.
"It took guts to go on stage because it was a sold-out crowd of college kids."

Dream night

Back behind the wheel of his cab this week, Shaw, a native of Springfield, Ohio, who spent 30 years in Alaska before coming to Michigan a couple of years ago, called the experience the realization of a "lifelong dream."
Shaw has performed for audiences before - mainly in bars around Juneau - but Wharton was a different kind of gig entirely.
"I had a great time," he said. "The place was packed."
Shaw landed in Lansing after visiting his sister in Clare. While there, he saw an ad for a Lansing blues bar and thought the capital city might be his kind of place.
His early days here were not promising. He did a bit at the Volunteers of America homeless shelter before going to work for Big Daddy.
So far, Shaw hasn't received any work here as a harmonica player, and, in fact, got nothing but glory for his one-night stand at Wharton.
But, as he learned Monday at the laundromat, if he keeps playing, anything can happen.
"From the homeless shelter to Wharton - not bad," Shaw said.

Would you hire a 24 year old to be the head coach of your division 1 NCAA sports program?

15.4.06

Not only do I recommend counting all your eggs this Easter, I also recommend putting them all in one basket.

A. 900 AD
B. 1100 AD
C. 400 BC
D. 130 AD
The above numbers represent the dates of the earliest existing manuscript copies of four specific historical texts.


A. 1200
B. 1400
C. 500
D. less than 100
The above numbers represent the approximate time span in years between the original manuscripts and the copies.


A. 7
B. 49
C. 643
D. 5,600+
The above numbers represent the number of existing manuscripts available for each of the four historical texts.



Answer Key:

A. Plato
B. Aristotle
C. Homer's Illiad
D. The New Testament

14.4.06

John Piper on Good Friday

Should be titled: How to die like a Christian

Journal of the American Medical Association on the Physical Death of Jesus Christ

A Song For Good Friday

TO BE ALONE WITH YOU- Sufjan Stevens from Seven Swans

I'd swim across Lake Michigan.
I'd sell my shoes.
I'd give my body to be back again
in the rest of room.
To be alone with you.
To be alone with you.
To be alone with you.
To be alone with you.

You gave your body to the lonely.
They took your clothes.
You gave up a wife and a family.
You gave your ghost.
To be alone with me.
To be alone with me.
To be alone with me,
you went up on a tree.
To be alone with me,
you went up on a tree.
I've never known a man who loved me

12.4.06

10.4.06

"Thanks to my homegirl at T-Shirts in NYC" and "Shout out to my brothers over at Emmaus Theory"

This draws together a few threads from the blogosphere, which I hope all y'all can enjoy. It's Sufjan so it's bound to please the indie rock contingent. It's a link from "t-shirts" so it's a word of thanks to my NYC peoples (all two of them- unless you count Rudi and Tim- ok it's just two of them). And it's all for love of country and whatnot so it should please both sides of the political aisle.

Enjoy!

Wild Lions to Protect Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie's Privacy During Pregnancy

Angelina: [exiting bathroom with pregnancy test in hand] Brad Honey, sit down. I have great news!

Brad: [confused, noticing pregnancy test, but not quite able to connect the dots] You got me some Lick-M-Aid Fun Dip?

Angelina: No Sweetie... I'm pregnant! You're going to be a Daddy!

Brad: Awesome. I'll get the lions.


As you can see, this is a completely reasonable course of action to take.
Note to Self... 100 days of pregnancy left. Be sure to get price quote on Ocelots.

Come On Feel the B-Sides

Funky Presbyterian's most beloved artist of 2005 promises release of outtakes from Illinoise, the neo-folk masterpiece hailed by everyone and his brother as the best album of the last year. I am giddy with anticipation.

Support Bibles for Porn Stars

Thanks Dru, for this link.

8.4.06

Phone Calls I Don't Make to Radio Talk Shows

Last night the boys and I had our own official men's night out which consisted of lots of jumping, running, and falling off of the big plastic spaceships and planets in the play area of the Tuttle Mall (as Jack's t-ball game was cancelled due to rain), some time at the book store, and of course the official eating of the ceremonial cookie which has traditionally marked the adjournment of the men's night out festivites. It's all very dignified. Next time we hope to incorporate pyrotechnical elements into the closing ceremonies. And probably dancing bears with little hats and vests on, carrying umbrellas. Or midgets boxing. The committee has not yet reached full agreement.

Anyway, as we were driving home and the boys were nodding off in the back seat, I was listeing to local talk radio wherre they were having a Final Four of annoying celebrities. The concept was some kind of bracket, whereby annoying celebrities and public figures were pitted against one another in order to determine just exactly who holds the distinguished title of most annoying person. The names callers proposed were largely predictable: Michael Jackson, Bill O'Reilly, Anna Nicole Smith, Barbara Streisand, Michael Moore... you get the point.

As I was listening, I couldn't help but think how totally awesome it would be to call up and suggest the names of individuals who are regarded with virtually universal respect and admiration. How hilarious would that be? Of course the trick would be to maintain an aura of complete sincerity:

"Yeah, this is T-Bone from the southside. Long time listener first time caller- Love the show, man. Thanks for taking my call. Alright, here's my Final Four-

Nelson Mandela- Ok. We get it. You were wrongfully imprisoned. Get over it already. And what's with the big baggy crazy print shirts? So when you got out of bed this morning you put on regular pants, but left the pajama shirt on? Nelson, buddy... it's called the Men's Wearhouse. Look into it.
And how about that Stephen Hawking guy- could this guy get any more pretensious? 'Oooh, look at me! I'm so smart. I've made greater contributions to mankind's understanding of the universe than anyone in the world and I did it all without the use of my lower extremities'. He's always doing that robot thing with his voice and he's all like 'I-INVENTED-BLACK-HOLES-AND-TIME-MACHINES-AND-I-CAN'T-EVEN-MOVE-MY-NECK-BUT-YES-I-WOULD-LIKE-FRIES-WITH-THAT-HA-HA-YOU-RETARDS-E=MC2' And what's with the wheel chair? Shouldn't he be able to levitate or something?
Next, I got Ghandi. Dude wait wait wait. It's totally not just cause he's a muslim. Seriously, dude. It's just a fashion thing. Whose this guy's stylist? It's like this, if you're going to roll with the whole "second-century tunic and sandals" vibe that's cool, but then you can't wear the little wire rimmed glasses. It totally breaks character! It's like that guy from cheap trick who wears a suit and tie with a baseball hat. You can't do that. Ghandi, my man. Either lose the glasses or get a coduroy jacket with elbow patches and a turtle neck. And grow a soul patch. You'd look like an english professor or something. Clothes make the man, my friend. Clothes make the man.
Alright and here's my last one: Mother Theresea. 'I help poor people. I give food to people who don't have any. I'm all short and old and whatnot'. I'm kidding! I'm kidding! No, really- I'm all about helping poor people and stuff. She's nice. But Theresea, I've got one word for you:
MOISTURIZER.
EXFOLIATION.
MICRODERM ABRASION.
I mean seriously... yikes.

That's it, dudes. Love the show. Catch you on the flipside. T-bone out!"



But I didn't call and say any of those things.

4.4.06

We Home School...

...but we've never suggested that it is the right choice for others. When considering the deicison to home school, private school or public school your children, there are many variables to consider and each situation is unique and there is no "one-size-fits all" correct answer for everyone. However...

THIS---> http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060403/NEWS01/604030389/1002/OPINION

is ridiculous!

2.4.06

Strung out on St Paul's Epistle to the Romans.

I'm so sleepy I can't sleep. I feel all grumpy and tired and wired simultaneously. Who needs drugs when you can just preach every sunday night and have a giant adrenaline high followed by a crash? Tomorrow AM at 7:30 i've got men's prayer group. I'm just about good for nuthin' on Monday's. I feel like I'm emotionally and spiritually drained and like I have nothing left to give anyone. Like my battery is just empty. I should make little beeping sounds like my cell phone just before it's battery dies. That way everyone would know. By Tuesday I'm usually back up to speed. One thing that still surprises me is the toll Sundays take on me physically. On Monday's I physically hurt from preaching on Sunday nights. I move slower. My joints ache.

I can always tell when I need some time off because Sunday nights feel just like this. I even took two days off last week, but I stayed in town and so it didn't really feel like I was off. I wasn't "working" but my brain was still in "go-mode". I know everybody works a lot. I'm not complaining. Just telling.

Goodnight.

31.3.06

My Blog Has Recieved A Lot More Hits...

ever since I published a post with the words "Britney Spears" and "Naked" in it. ATTENTION 14 YEAR OLD BOYS: DON"T YOU KNOW YOU'LL GO BLIND?

30.3.06

Is You Is Or Is You Ain't? (An Article From Emusic.com)

Is You Is Or Is You Ain't?: Christian Indie-Rock
by Michael James McGonigal

Eight years ago, a reedy-voiced genius from Athens, GA, sang the words "I love you Jesus Christ/ Jesus Christ I love you, yes I do" in a crazy, fuzzed-out pop song. Over a chaotic and beautiful backing music that sounded like a marching band from inside your very best dreams, Mangum stretched those 15 syllables out into many dozens. It was just two lines in one song, "King of Carrot Flowers Part Two," off an album called In the Aeroplane Over the Sea that is filled with alternately disturbing and blissed-out, Blake-ian imagery. Mangum had written much of the album in just a few days after he read Diary of Anne Frank for the first time and "kind of lost it," which is of course the only rational response to the Holocaust.

But seeing as Aeroplane was among the best albums of that year, those lines had a pretty large impact in the indie rock community. Expressing a sincere love, even just a potentially sincere love, for Christ was perhaps the last taboo in indie and alt-rock. The Danielson clan had been doing it since 1995, but they were misunderstood as some sort of outsider/joke band (perhaps aided by the quirky nature of their songs and the fact that they all performed in nurses' uniforms).

I interviewed Mangum for a cover story for alt-rock quarterly Puncture, whereupon he allowed that "a song about God was inevitable, because of my upbringing and the intense experiences I had... at church camps." He continued, citing the age-old divide of God versus church. "My love for Christ has more to do with what Christ said and believed in. The church put this bullshit around it and made it this at-times really evil thing. If you attach man to anything, he's gonna fuck it up somehow," he continued, adding, "You think that's too cynical?" Such words do have a ring of truth for those of us who went to church and never once heard a sermon on why it would be harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than a camel to enter a needle's eye or whether it really made sense to spend so much of the church's money on these big fancy buildings rather than on outreach, not to mention those of us who still have trouble reconciling such actions as the Holy Crusades (the old ones and the more modern versions) with the words "thou shalt not kill."

But this isn't a freshman religion class, and of course there are a multitude of churches and denominations from which to choose, so, um, back to the music.

Whatever the impact of that one song by Neutral Milk Hotel, it was just one song. Today, though, some of the most interesting and celebrated musicians in the "secular indie" scene are devout Christians. But is the music they make Christian music or not? How to address this stuff from the vantage point of Christian music? Should it even be addressed at all? I'm feeling particularly fed up with genre definitions as I search for ways to address the strange but devotional music of the promising new band Page France and the celebrated musician Sufjan Stevens.

I'd already decided to write about this subject of Christian music being made in the indie-rock commuity, when Chris Dahlen wrote about this very thing in a column for the influential website Pitchfork this past January. "I don't know why hipsters hate Jesus," he began. Of course, that's not true, that hipsters hate Christ, though the problem with discussing hipsters is that you'd be very hard-pressed to find a hipster who'll acknowledge he or she actually is one.

Dahlen ends his piece by suggesting folks be more open-minded, to not "shoot the messenger," which sounds good to me. It does concern me that some of the most talented musicians of our day — who are Christians but not operating within the CCM community — do not feel comfortable discussing their faith for fear of being thought of as "stupid, or worse," as a musician friend of mine (who is amazingly talented and worshipped on websites and touted by NPR as a great talent and who unfortunately wishes to remain anonymous) put it while visiting last week.

What I am asking for is an expansion of the definition of Christian music, to also include amazing devotional songs that might not even be written by people within the CCM community. I want more weirdness! I want more questioning! I want better music! I want rock bands that are as great at being rock bands as the Swan Silvertones were at being a vocal quartet! Knowing that God is everywhere, and yeah it's a crazy cliché but that God works in mysterious ways, I'm more interested in hearing amazing songs of devotion than the purported great faith of this or that person. I'm not here to take inventories. I'm less concerned with whether or not Amy Grant had an affair or not, but when it comes to her music, is it any good, as gospel? Does it inspire joy, or make me think about faith in a new way? As such, I would rather listen to the Velvet Underground's gorgeous ballad "Jesus" (a song written by a junkie New York Jew!), or Sufjan's pretty and plaintive "Oh God, Where Are You Now?" than anything in, say, dcTalk's catalog. (Let's face it, they were an important band in the evolution of CCM, but their music was as ridiculously hokey as the best of Vanilla Ice crossed with the worst of U2.)

One of the latest songs to cause ripples within the indie-rock community is "Jesus" by the band Page France. Page France has the makings of greatness, as a single listen to the song "Spine," will attest, seeing as it brings to mind Elf Power playing with Tom Verlaine during his instrumental period. And while some of the band's work is too precious, too twee, as if the group were really holding something back, with time they could be the equal of their influences. They always have interesting lyrics that are clearly Biblically inspired, with blood from stones and burning bushes and angels and lines like "You were made out of my ribs/ We share a heart."

Anyway, this song "Jesus" might upset your mother, but it's clearly a spirited, spiritual song. The three and a half minute number begins with some pleasant acoustic guitar and organ before heading into these sweetly-sung words that have confused many listeners: "And Jesus will come through the ground so dirty/ With worms in his hair and a hand so sturdy/ To call us his magic, we call him worthy." Some might bristle at the tune and call it sacrilege, but I find it one of the more interesting, if not a tad literal, interpretations of the Resurrection.

Perhaps we need a new category for this kind of stuff? We could call it Alt-Alt-Christian rock? No, that's awful. Think of a name and send it in, I beseech thee

j
Originally uploaded by grb3000.


s
Originally uploaded by grb3000.


j&s
Originally uploaded by grb3000.

Is Charlie Peacock writing songs for Sheryl Crow & Sting?

Today I heard a song on the VH1 by Sheryl Crow and Sting called "always on your side" and though I've never heard the song before, Im telling you it HAD to be written by a guy named Charlie Peacock (real name Charlie Ashworth). Who can confirm this for me?

It's got his melodies and chord changes and even some pretty distinctively "Covenant Seminary/ Presbyterian" turns of phrases in the lyrics. I'm telling you Charlie either wrote it or whoever DID write it was listening to or hanging out with Charlie when they did write it!

I need confirmation. First to confirm wins... um... something cool. Maybe a statue of Charlie Peacock on a bear skin rug, fully clothed and eating cheetos or something.

FP

27.3.06

Hooray for Naked Statues of Britney Spears


bear skin rug
Originally uploaded by grb3000.
Today a friend emailed me expressing disapointment that I had not yet commented on the new pro-life monument that was recently unveiled in Brooklyn. It is a scuplture of Britney Spears. Naked. And giving birth. You can click the title of this post to read an article about the work, and you can keep reading this post to hear my two cents.

Here's what I love about it:

First it's pro-life, which is great. Second it is a very well executed sculpture. The Pro-Life movement is of course linked with the political right, which is not known to be a friend of the arts, so to a see a pro life work that has actual artistic merit is encouraging to me as a pro-lifer and as an artist.

In addition, I especially love that the work is mildly provacative. It would have been so easy for someone to have done a nice safe sculpture of a fully clothed mother cradling her child (ala Mary Cassat or whatever). But what would be the point of that? The fact that this work is mildly provacative removes it somewhat from the sphere of the political right & especially from the "Christian" right. Let's face it. Minature models of this statue are not going to be sold as pewter bookends in any Chrisitian bookstore, with the proceeds going to a pro-life organization. So the very nature of the work cleanses the pro-life message from the ideologue stigma often (unfairly or fairly) attached to it by more liberal opponents. Ralph Reed ain't making naked statues of Britney Spears.

Which is the other thing I love about this piece. The fact that it is Britney Spears works fantastically on a number of levels. First, if the provacative nature of the work removes the accusation of "conservative ideologue", identifying the woman as Britney Spears removes the whole "frou-frou- too-cool-for school-artsy-fartsy-wine-and-cheese-pretense" from a work that could otherwise be seen as merely high culture sophistication. Britney is as low culture, as pop culture as it gets. Even better, Britney is pop culture icon ten minutes past her prime, which is the worst of all possible crimes in our culture.

The fact that the scuplture is Britney Spears also works to make it accessible to folks who aren't artsy fartsy. Everybody knows who she is and everybody knows she had a baby. So the work maintains it's creative integrity while becoming completly accessible at some level to everyone from 12 year old girls to gallery curators in soho. Virtually everyone can engage with the work on some level. So in that sense it is absolutely brilliant as an apologetic for the pro-life position.

The other thing I love about it being Britney Spears is that she has in recent years become the whipping girl of the family values set, who seem to be relieved to have found a replacement for Madonna- ever since she got married and started writing children's books. So for the pro-life movement to honor her for making the surprisingly counter-cultural and potentially costly decision to become a mother rather than aborting, despite the fact that the conservative evangelicals (the Pro-Life movement's primary constituency) have demonized her (for dancing naked with snakes on MTV or whatever it was) is a particularly courageous & admirable choice on the part of whomever commissioned the work.

The last thing I love about this statue being of Britney Spears is that it connects with those whom the pro-life message needs most to connect. Even more so than with voters and law makers. That's girls. We need to contunally lift up examples of women making life decisions for our daughters to see. We need to herald those decisions for our daughters to hear. This statue does that.

A last, slightly more delicate point we could discuss is the way in which child birth and motherhood are shown to be sensual and even sexual in nature >blush<. This is a healthy message as well. Motherhood does not remove sexuality! Healthy images of sexuality should be encouraged and applauded wherever we find them. Here is an image of sexuality that actually demonstrates that conception and child birth are the natural prducts of active sexuality! This is a piece of art that does not live in the land of sexual makebelieve like most sexually charged artwork in our culture does- this piece doesn not divorce sexuality from relationship, from commitment, from parenthood, from personhood, or from the beauty of birth and the costly changes it brings to career and lifestyle. This statue is NOT pornography. Also this work argues that the choice to give birth does not transform a woman into an undesirable, asexual, being. How many girls contemplating abortion, or being pressured into abortion by their boyfriends, need to hear that message? How many mothers need to hear this message? Who else is saying it?

Not the conservatives. Cultural conservatives want to protect the unborn, but give the impression that sex is bad or dirty.

Not the liberals. Cultural liberals promote sexuality, but it is a "liberated" sexuality of radical individualism that refuses to acknolwedge that sex is inherently a communal act with communal repercussions that range from the conception of other human beings to societal issues like an overabundance of fatherless children.

Not the church. We mostly pretend like sex doesn't exist, except for the times we are telling people not to have it.

This statue will have none of it. Sex is relational. It has consequences. Sex and parenthood are necessarily linked. They are beautiful and difficult and expensive and fascinating and invigorating and ought to be celebrated.

Hooray for naked statues of Britney Spears.

23.3.06

Free Live Show From Tim Easton!


Tim Easton
Originally uploaded by grb3000.
Follow the link to a free live show you can download from Tim Easton. Tim is in LA and hangs with the Lucinda Williams set in Nashville from time to time, as well as the M Ward faction.

But he is from Ohio and spends a portion of the year right here in little ol' Columbus and often drinks Coffee at the Cup O Joe in Clintonville which the Funky Presbyter has been known to frequent. Easton's new album is due to be released on May 16th of this year, which is another thing we've got in common. I was "released" on May 16th in 1974. Guess what I'm buying myself for my birthday this year?

If you've not heard Easton I highly recommend him. My friend Nand turned me on to him and one thing I've learned is if a guy named "Nand" tells you to listen to something, then do it especially if the guys named Nand also has a silent "L" in his last name. That is a sure fire sign of good musical taste. It's like genetic or something. He is heads and shoulders above all the other singer songwriter, alt country, pop, folk guys out there. (Tim, not Nand. I've never heard sopng written by Nand, so I can;t speak for his songwriting). I'd put Easton in the same camp as Ryan Adams' best work. At times even better. He's got what SImon Cowell would call the "it" factor. Yes, I've been watching American Idol. shut up.

22.3.06

lyric of the day

From Home Again Garden Grove by The Mountain Goats...

I can remember when we were in highschool
Our dreams were like fugitive warlords
Plotting triumphant returns to the city
Keeping tech nines tucked under the floor boards

Now we are practical men of the world
We tether our dreams to the turf
And cruise down the alleys for honey to feed them
Like jelley fish riding the surf

21.3.06

Images of Noah's Ark?

Please pray for this guy.

Do Not Panic


snow
Originally uploaded by grb3000.
Those of you in the central Ohio area know that for the last two days, all media reports have been bleeping and screeching their warnings to us: Severe Winter Storm Advisor.

I'm afraid the time is now upon us. News reports are now calling for... (brace yourselves)... one to three inches. Yes, the situation is very grave. Perhaps now would be a good time to say parting words to your loved ones and make peace with your maker.

The WHITE DEATH is upon us.

15.3.06

Republicans happier than democrats?

What does this do to the "angry white male" theory?

14.3.06

So you wanna be an indie rock fan?

Presbyterian Pastor humor:

You might be a TR if...

1. You first quote the Westminster Confession and then say, "Oh yeah, the Bible says this somewhere, too."
2. You refuse to vote for Jesus as Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" because you don't want an image of Christ on the front cover.
3. You secretly believe that you have to believe in election to be saved.
4. You think Puritans are really, really, really, REALLY cool.
5. While not being a theonomist, you completely understand them.
6. While officially affirming the "priesthood of all believers," the only people you really trust to interpret Scripture are Calvin and yourself, and you only trust yourself on Thursdays before noon.
7. For you, a Baptist and stupid are the same word.
8. A "Reformed Baptist" and a "square circle" are equally as difficult for you to imagine.
9. You wonder what the Holy Spirit was up to between the times of Paul and Calvin.
10. You think women belong in the home and not in any pulpit, much less a staff position in large churches.
11. At some point in your life, you honestly believed that the only people who are saved are you and your buddy who thinks just like you, and then you kind of have to wonder about him because he DOES think just like you.
12. You think any church that has more than 200 people is probably apostate.
13. You are personally repulsed by Campus Crusade for Christ.
14. It is harder for you to keep the Sabbath than it is to fill out your taxes.
15. You keep telling yourself that Willow Creek has to be a really bad dream.
16. You've considered stoning someone.
17. You've seriously thought about lighting up a cigarette in church.
18. You think "that Pope as the Antichrist thing" should never have been taken out of the Confession.
19. Saying a blessing before the first round of drinks doesn't seem strange to you at all.
20. Your favorite Bible is your "Authorized Bahnsen Version."
21. You're convinced that everyone in your Presbytery is secretly a 33rd degree Mason.
22. You know that the Apocrypha doesn't belong in the canon, but you wonder sometimes whether we should add Van Til's, "The Defense of the Faith."
23. You pray daily for God to release His judgement on para-church ministries.
24. You think no true evangelism has been done without at least 3 lengthy quotes from the Confession.
25. You can't figure out why God didn't take Van Til like He did Enoch.
26. For you, tobacco is its own major food group.
27. You like Sproul Jr. a whole lot better than his father.
28. You think John Gerstner was an Arminian who knows better now.
29. You think the "Concerned Presbyterians" are way too moderate.
30. The only reason you haven't condemned Covenant Seminary is because you went there and you don't want to invalidate your entire theological training.
31. You have no idea what personality type you are, which explains why you are a TR.

You might be a BR if...

1. You changed the name of your church from "Knox Reformed Presbyterian" to "Grace Community Fellowship."
2. You've ever seriously considered going to Pensacola or Toronto to bring back the fire.
3. You think what the church needs is another revival, not another reformation.
4. You've ever done an "infant dedication" service.
5. You own more than one book by C. Peter Wagner, David Wilkerson, James Dobson, or Gary Smalley
6. You don't own anything by Charles Hodge, Archibald Alexander, or B.B. Warfield.
7. You think it's a good thing that many of your members don't know the church is Presbyterian.
8. The words "relevant, contemporary, and cutting edge" cause you to salivate excessively.
9. You don't trust anyone who doesn't have exceptions to the Confession.
10. You consider it to be in bad taste to ask theological questions of a candidate on the floor of Presbytery.
11. You've ever cut a service short because of "Super Bowl Sunday."
12. You constantly use the word "just" while praying (i.e. We "just" really want to thank you).
13. You switched to using overheads so people would have their hands free to "just really worship God."
14. You believe the greatest work on Apologetics ever written was "More than a Carpenter."
15. You wish there was some way of incorporating an altar call into your service.
16. You have a "worship team."
17. You believe that Republican and Christian are synonyms.
18. The most common logo on your casual clothing is "PK."
19. You nod your head when someone says, "Doctrine divides."
20. You could sell your copy of the Confession in "like new" condition.
21. You think that the PCUSA went Liberal because people just really stopped loving Jesus.

This is what the gospel looks like.


13.3.06

Currently Rocking Out To:


hello dear wind
Originally uploaded by grb3000.
Page France, Hello Dear Wind

Click title for a special surprise. Here are some reviews:

Though Hello, Dear Wind's catchy melodies and evocative lyrics will grab your attention from the first spin, there's a lot of depth behind them. It's as deeply revealing and honest an album as you're likely to hear all year. -SPLENDID

Page France is an easy contender for my personal favorite album of the year... Hello Dear Wind sees compelling, poetic, mysterious lyrics set to sweet and gentle melodies sung primarily by Michael Nau, with big beautiful female harmonies by Whitney McGraw, backed up by magnificent production centered around acoustic guitar with nice subtle additions of bells and shakers, easy-breezy kick drums and flower-power tambourines.-LEFT HIP MAGAZINE

Michael Nau and Co. have created a completely charming, endlessly endearing, uniquely understated, and totally immersing sophomore album. I can’t take it out of my stereo, and I don’t think that I’ll have to for a while- it feels new every time I hear it. If you like any type of indie-pop, Hello, Dear Wind will be the best album of the year for you, and that’s not an understatement.-INDEPENDENT CLAUSES

Listening to Hello, Dear Wind makes me wish that I had a girlfriend. Not only would it be a perfect soundtrack for a Fall romance, but when our eventual break-up comes around, it would serve as splendid hearbreak music as well! It's great love music and it's great breakup music - that's the kind of duality of the newest album from Maryland natives, Page France.-YOU AIN'T NO PICASSO

The xylophone- and organ-friendly, childlike acoustic folk is the product of kids who sound like they still get a good deal of joy out of producing music, a product that gets a little better with every listen. Here’s hoping Page France will get all the ears they deserve.
-AVERSION

Prison vs. Work

[Best thing about church planting? No cubicles.]


Prison vs. Work

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.


Top 10 drawbacks to working in a cubicle..

10. Being told to ‘Think outside the Box’ when  you’re  in a @#$%?*! box all day long.
9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments  without  turning around to see who’s behind you.
8. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.
7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button,  you’ll get a piece of cheese!
6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
5. The walls are too close together for the  hammock to work right.
4. 23 power cords, 1 outlet.
3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.
2. When tours come through, you get lots of  peanuts thrown at you.

And the Number 1 Drawback to Working in a  Cubicle:
1. You can’t slam the door when you quit and  walk out.

Cubicle Inventor Regrets His Invention.

So you're saying the office cubicle wasn't invented by Satan, afterall?

11.3.06

More Dollars & People: Is Ministry About Numbers?


"A" for effort
Originally uploaded by grb3000.
Three fighter jets are flying along on a mission, having a conversation.

"What a shame!" cries the first jet. "This recent preoccupation in the aeronautical community with increased fuel capacity and higher speeds- it amounts to little more than a gratuitious display of ego and pomposity!"

"Indeed" agrees the second jet. "And not only that, but this lust for fuel and speed has compromised our mission as fighter jets. In fact, one would think from all the talk, that acquiring more speed and fuel has actually BECOME the mission. What is important is the mission. It's not about fuel and speed. It's about the mission!"

"Perhaps, my brothers" said the third jet (whose fuel tank was a bit smaller and whose engine was a bit slower than the other two) "But what these times really call for is not more fuel capacity or greater speeds, but that we jets learn to fly straighter lines, hold the course. That we are sure to run all of our instrument tests in the proper manner and that we follow proper procedures. This rather than fuel and speed will ensure we are true to our mission".

"A good reminder, friend" say the first two jets. "It is agreed, then. The desire for greater fuel capacity and higer rates of speed is a hinderance to our true mission. Aircraft should not seek fuel and speed. We must see only to fulfill our mission. Flight is not about more fuel and more speed. Flight is about the mission"

"and proper procedures" reminded the third jet helpfully.

"Yes, yes" say the first two jets, " and proper procedures". And there was wisdom in their conclusion.


Meanwhile, thousands of feet below the fighter jets, a small single-prop cessna is sputtering down a dirt runway with the engine at full throttle. All afternoon the little plane has been spinning it's propeller and straining it's engine in an attempt to gain flight and join the mission given by the Flight Commander. He looks nervously at his own fuel gage as it's needle drops closer to "E". Occasionally he gets the speed to bounce a few feet off the runway before dropping back down to dirt. And he is growing discouraged and frustrated.

"If I'm ever going to fulfill the mission" the cessna says to himself, "I need to get more fuel and more speed".

Just then the cessna's radio picks up the conversation taking place far above his head. He tunes in just in time to hear the three jets' pronouncement:

"The desire for greater fuel capacity and higher rates of speed is a hinderance to our true mission. Aircraft should not seek fuel and speed. We must seek only to fulfill our mission. Flight is not about more fuel and more speed. "

The cessna thinks over his options. Perhaps the jets are correct. Afterall, they've been quite a bit more successful than he has at attaining lift and flight. Plus think of all their expereince and wisdom. Who can argue with principles like "mission and proper procedure"? Perhaps the cessna's focus on speed and fuel has been wrong all along. Perhaps he should sputter along at his current rate of speed until his fuel tank is empty. Perhaps at that point the great Flight Commander will sweep him into the air on a great gust of wind and carry him through the mission. Surely this is the more faithful course of action.

Then again, maybe the cessna recognizes that the conversation taking place high above his head is one that can only be had between aircrafts who've already attained the speed and lift necessary for flight, and whose tanks have the fuel necessary to get them to their destination. In which case he should be about the business of marshalling his remaining resources to acquire more fuel and more speed, so that lift will produce flight. And through flight he can contribute to the mission.