6.1.06

End of the Year Lists

The following end of the year lists were found over at junkmailforblankets where a former seminary classmate of mine blogs.


Top Ten Wrestlers Who Never Wore the Belt of Truth in the Christian Wrestling Federation, Due, Possibly, to the Lack of Imprecation in their Chosen Wrestling Names
1. The Wounded Prophet
2. The Crippled Beggar
3. The Witch of Endor
4. The Angel of Life
5. The Passover Lamb
6. The Scarlet Cloth
7. The Circumcised
8. The Good Samaritan
9. The Kinsman Redeemer
10. Nard


Top Ten Least Successful Wrestling Moves Employed by the Above
1. The Flying Scroll
2. The Flow of Blood
3. The Mound of Wheat
4. The Resounding Gong
5. The Gentle Rebuke
6. The Love Feast
7. The Useless Vine
8. The Threshing Floor
9. The Slanderous Accusation
10. Forgiveness


Top Ten Best Names* for Christian Blues Musicians Among Christian Blues Musicians who Randomly Opened the Bible and Pointed When Choosing a Christian Blues Musician Name
1. Tent Peg
2. Dry Bones
3. Withered Fig
4. Pentecost
5. Raisin Cake
6. Sackcloth
7. Gethsemane
8. Wineskin
9. Rooster Crow
10. Almond Rod


(*To test, add Johnson to the end of each name)

The Following Are All They Are Cracked Up To Be:

Most things in life do not live up to the hype. Wether it is new technology, a new experience or a new stage in life, seldom does the reality measure up to the expectation. Once in a while however, something comes along that does measure up and even exceeds our hopes. Over the course of my life I've been keeping a running mental list of things that are all they are cracked up to be. As it stands so far with brief commentary, no particular order:

1. Drivers License: instant freedom and independance. At 16 I learned that a dork in a rusty $600 Mustang II trumps a non-dork on a bicycle.
2. College: more freedom and independance. Don't feel like going to school today? Fine. Go back to bed. Eat cereal in the shower. Who's gonna stop you? Beautiful.
3. I Pod: Come on. Every song you've ever owned in your pocket all the time? Don't pretend that's not awesome.
4. The Gospel: It just keeps getting deeper. And wider. And I'm not just saying this cause I'm suppose to.
5. Sex: awww yeah.
6. Fatherhood: As a father of two little boys I've created my own instant fan club. No matter how my day has gone, or what kind of mess I'm making out of my vocational life, when I walk in the house at the end of the day I am a rock star, a stand up comedian and the world's strongest man.
7. Hawaii: Way too commercialized and over-populated, but absolutely, jaw-droppingly beautiful. Photos do it no justice. Worth the trip just to stand on the beach and stare up at Diamondhead.
8. The Millenium Falcon: My parents bought it for me in 1984 when I had my tonsils removed. It was the coolest, ever. Han behind the controls, Chewie riding shot gun, and if you removed the batteries you could even cram Yoda into the battery compartment.

Let's hear it. What are yours?

Science and People of Faith

Read this post over at epistautology and see what you think.
What is sleep paralysis?

Sleep paralysis consists of a period of inability to perform voluntary movements either at sleep onset (called hypnogogic or predormital form) or upon awakening (called hypnopompic or postdormtal form).

Sleep paralysis may also be referred to as isolated sleep paralysis, familial sleep paralysis, hynogogic or hypnopompic paralysis, predormital or postdormital paralysis

What are the symptoms?


A complaint of inability to move the trunk or limbs at sleep onset or upon awakening
Presence of brief episodes of partial or complete skeletal muscle paralysis
Episodes can be associated with hypnagogic hallucinations or dream-like mentation (act or use of the brain)


Polysomnography (a sleep recording) shows at least one of the following:


suppression of skeletal muscle tone
a sleep onset REM period
dissociated REM sleep


Is it harmful?

Sleep paralysis is most often associated with narcolepsy, a neurological condition in which the person has uncontrollable naps. However, there are many people who experience sleep paralysis without having signs of narcolepsy. Sometimes it runs in families. There is no known explanation why some people experience this paralysis. It is not harmful, although most people report feeling very afraid because they do not know what is happening, and within minutes they gradually or abruptly are able to move again; the episode is often terminated by a sound or a touch on the body.

In some cases, when hypnogogic hallucinations are present, people feel that someone is in the room with them, some experience the feeling that someone or something is sitting on their chest and they feel impending death and suffocation. That has been called the “Hag Phenomena” and has been happening to people over the centuries. These things cause people much anxiety and terror, but there is no physical harm.
Narcolepsy is a chronic neurological disorder caused by the brain's inability to regulate sleep-wake cycles normally. At various times throughout the day, people with narcolepsy experience fleeting urges to sleep. If the urge becomes overwhelming, individuals will fall asleep for periods lasting from a few seconds to several minutes. In rare cases, some people may remain asleep for an hour or longer.  In addition to excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), three other major symptoms frequently characterize narcolepsy: cataplexy, or the sudden loss of voluntary muscle tone; vivid hallucinations during sleep onset or upon awakening; and brief episodes of total paralysis at the beginning or end of sleep.  Narcolepsy is not definitively diagnosed in most patients until 10 to 15 years after the first symptoms appear. The cause of narcolepsy remains unknown.  It is likely that narcolepsy involves multiple factors interacting to cause neurological dysfunction and sleep disturbances however at this point, researches know only that the narc...
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Take Your Medicine


dw
Originally uploaded by grb3000.
For the next several days, the FP prescribes a daily dose of Derek Webb lyrics. Here's your pill for today. Caution: May have serious side effects.


A King & A Kingdom

who's your brother, who's your sister
you just walked passed him
i think you missed her
as we're all migrating to the place where our father lives
'cause we married in to a family of immigrants

my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a king & a kingdom

there are two great lies that i’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him


but nothing unifies like a common enemy
and we’ve got one, sure as hell
but he may be living in your house
he may be raising up your kids
he may be sleeping with your wife
oh no, he may not look like you think

Indie Record Stores Fading Out

Back in college I use to go up to Looney T-Bird's every monday night at midnight for the new release party. It was a great weekly ritual. We'd peruse the used cd shelves, swing through the vinyl room and then, if we could find anything worth purchasing (and we always did) we'd wait in line (yes, a line at a record store at midnight on a monday) and we'd take our new find back to the apartment and listen before getting some rest before classes started the next morning.

My top three Looney T-Bird memories:

1. Waiting in line for vs, Pearl jam's much awaited second album.
2. Purchasing an album entitled Bee Thousand from some strange band called Guided by Voices. It was a new movement called "lo-fi". I loved it so much I freaked out.
3. Purchasing both Grant lee Buffalo's Mighty Joe Moon and Radiohead's The Bends in the same evening. These two are forever linked in my psyche.

Alas, Looney's has been gone for several years. I hope my new indie record store (magnolia's in Columbus, Ohio) does not go under also. I'm sure it will eventually.

sigh.

when animals attack!


Jack, October 2003
Originally uploaded by grb3000.

Friday, January 6, 7:33am

PAPERCUT!