29.6.05
Grandpa kills attacking leopard with bare hands!
This is the best story I've read in a long time. Check it out.
A Shout Out to Karl's Jr.
Welcome to the big wide world, little buddy. We're all so glad you're here and we can't wait to meet you. Tell your Mommy we said "Good job!" and your Daddy we said "Congratulations!"
KC and Jesse, we're happy to hear that all went well. All three of you were in my prayers. God is good.
KC and Jesse, we're happy to hear that all went well. All three of you were in my prayers. God is good.
28.6.05
Dog Shoppping
Our old faithful friend Wyatt appears to have a tumor. I'll not say where as to spare his dignity. Wyatt is an eight year old German Shepherd Dog and the vet says the end may be near for the old boy. He's been an extremely loyal and family friendly companion to all of us for about a decade. Wyatt has never so much as growled at me or any member of the family. he has patiently tolerated all types of abuse and mishandlement form the host of young ones that have scurried through our house. Now he may be on his way out. It's all very sad. I have for Wyatt only the highest words of praise. The highest praise he ever wants to hear: Good dog.
In the interest of security we've begun a new dog search and have decided to purchase a bull mastiff pup at some point in the future. Bullmastiffs are huge and scary (130-160 pounds!). They don't shed much at all and are extremely calm and lazy. Great with kids. They can eat bad guys in one big gulp. Yep. That's the animal for us. Here's a picture.
Now if you were a bad guy, would you stop at this fellas house or move on to the next?
In the interest of security we've begun a new dog search and have decided to purchase a bull mastiff pup at some point in the future. Bullmastiffs are huge and scary (130-160 pounds!). They don't shed much at all and are extremely calm and lazy. Great with kids. They can eat bad guys in one big gulp. Yep. That's the animal for us. Here's a picture.
Now if you were a bad guy, would you stop at this fellas house or move on to the next?
24.6.05
Survey
 | You scored as Reformed Evangelical. You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God's Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die.
What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com |
23.6.05
Jack's Critique of Coldplay
My five year old son offered this astute and unsolicited critical evaluation of Colplay today:
"The instruments are just rock and roll, but the singing is a little bit rock and roll and a little bit beautiful".
Spot on if I do say so myself.
"The instruments are just rock and roll, but the singing is a little bit rock and roll and a little bit beautiful".
Spot on if I do say so myself.
Ok. Officially no longer a free country.
Read this link on today's supreme court ruling. Your property does not belong to you anymore.
22.6.05
The yellow & black attack is back: click to listen
That's right boys and... well mostly just boys. The long haired glam rockers who brought us "Honestly" and "To Hell With the Devil" are poised to release their comeback album in August. I can't wait I tell ya. Can Not Wait.
I gotta run. I'm phoning my broker to tell him to buy up as many spandex shares as possible. I'm sure to make a killing.
I gotta run. I'm phoning my broker to tell him to buy up as many spandex shares as possible. I'm sure to make a killing.
20.6.05
Vacation!
Well, the powers that be have been very generous in extending to me vacation. Last year I took approximately none of that time. So far this year I have also taken exactly none. But soon I shall! We have reserved a little bungalow on the white sandy shores of tropical Anna Maria Island in the Gulf of Mexico. We are very excited.
This is a photo of the beach where we will be staying. Soon it will be the wife and I holding hands and strolling along the water's edge.
If we see these two yahoos, I promise to clothesline the dude while Charity chop blocks the chic at the knees.
"WHOSE BEACH IS IT? WHOSE BEACH IS IT? THAT'S RIGHT HONKIES, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!"
Then we'll slap high fives and retire to the bungalow for two coronas and a round of shuffle board.
This is a photo of the beach where we will be staying. Soon it will be the wife and I holding hands and strolling along the water's edge.
If we see these two yahoos, I promise to clothesline the dude while Charity chop blocks the chic at the knees.
"WHOSE BEACH IS IT? WHOSE BEACH IS IT? THAT'S RIGHT HONKIES, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!"
Then we'll slap high fives and retire to the bungalow for two coronas and a round of shuffle board.
Raed Tihs Itnretsnig Arctile
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.
19.6.05
Three Funky Presbyterians eating Bar-B-Que ribs.
This is from last week in Chattanooga. Thought I'd post it in honor of Father's day. Which is over in like an hour and a half.
Call your dad.
Call your dad.
18.6.05
14.6.05
On Family Traveling
Well, we made it to Chattanooga. Finally.
I've always been fond of road trips. Even the lengthy sort. Of course, once one is married, all activities involving navigation and the operation of a motor vehicle suddenly become spontaneous exercises in conflict resolution. And this is not to mention the added dimensions marriage brings to the packing of the bags (which use to consist mainly of sniffing one's own t-shirt, grabbing a mountain dew from the fridge and tossing a handful of CD's into the passenger seat. On a good day your toothbrush MIGHT end up in your back pocket).
Now of course, it is different. There is actual luggage involved now. And math. Math is required for the packing of the luggage. And one entire piece of luggage is designated for the sole purpose of transporting the soaps and the conditioners and the loofas and all sorts of mysterious tiny bottles containing lotions and creams and astringents that (if price is any indication) all perform very important functions, though one can never be sure exactly what those functions are. This time there was even room left over for my toothbrush (phew!).
CD's are still a necessity of course, but no longer may the traveling collection be compiled on a whim. No, no, no. Now there is delegation, and negotiations. Concessions must be made. Deals must be struck. What once was a completed without a second thought, now becomes a highly political endeavor calling for the subtle arts of compromise and consensus building.
"Ok, I'll leave behind Tool, if you promise not to make me listen to Norah Jones again".
"Alright... And let's pick out something we both can enjoy"
Of course this last statement actually means something more like "Let's pick out something that neither one of us will hate to hear, but which lacks any trace of aesthetic conviction which might make it objectionable to the tastes of listeners on either end of the musical spectrum". (Which by the way, explains how Coldplay sold all those records).
And so it goes. And we've not even mentioned the children. Ah yes! The children. Now throw children into the mix and the once simple road trip becomes infinitely more complex. What, with the pooping of the pants and the changing of the diapers and the dropping of the toys and the crying of the babies and the stopping to pee pee and the stopping to pee pee again and the asking of the questions and the kicking of the back of the seat and the stopping to pee pee and the turning down of the radio as not to wake the baby and the eating of the candy and the spilling of the juice box...
As you can see, it can all become a very involved ordeal.
So, now I'm writing from my hotel room. As it turns out they were out of actual rooms with two beds, which is exactly the kind of room we reserved. As Jerry Seinfeld was quick to point out, it's not so much the taking of the reservation that is the challenge. It is the keeping of the reservation. But the kind folks behind the desk made good and put us up in a suite. Sweet. And swanky!
So all is well. Early day tomorrow. I'm going to get in bed. Which as I understand, is custom-designed for a great night's sleep. Or that's what the brochure said, anyway.
I've always been fond of road trips. Even the lengthy sort. Of course, once one is married, all activities involving navigation and the operation of a motor vehicle suddenly become spontaneous exercises in conflict resolution. And this is not to mention the added dimensions marriage brings to the packing of the bags (which use to consist mainly of sniffing one's own t-shirt, grabbing a mountain dew from the fridge and tossing a handful of CD's into the passenger seat. On a good day your toothbrush MIGHT end up in your back pocket).
Now of course, it is different. There is actual luggage involved now. And math. Math is required for the packing of the luggage. And one entire piece of luggage is designated for the sole purpose of transporting the soaps and the conditioners and the loofas and all sorts of mysterious tiny bottles containing lotions and creams and astringents that (if price is any indication) all perform very important functions, though one can never be sure exactly what those functions are. This time there was even room left over for my toothbrush (phew!).
CD's are still a necessity of course, but no longer may the traveling collection be compiled on a whim. No, no, no. Now there is delegation, and negotiations. Concessions must be made. Deals must be struck. What once was a completed without a second thought, now becomes a highly political endeavor calling for the subtle arts of compromise and consensus building.
"Ok, I'll leave behind Tool, if you promise not to make me listen to Norah Jones again".
"Alright... And let's pick out something we both can enjoy"
Of course this last statement actually means something more like "Let's pick out something that neither one of us will hate to hear, but which lacks any trace of aesthetic conviction which might make it objectionable to the tastes of listeners on either end of the musical spectrum". (Which by the way, explains how Coldplay sold all those records).
And so it goes. And we've not even mentioned the children. Ah yes! The children. Now throw children into the mix and the once simple road trip becomes infinitely more complex. What, with the pooping of the pants and the changing of the diapers and the dropping of the toys and the crying of the babies and the stopping to pee pee and the stopping to pee pee again and the asking of the questions and the kicking of the back of the seat and the stopping to pee pee and the turning down of the radio as not to wake the baby and the eating of the candy and the spilling of the juice box...
As you can see, it can all become a very involved ordeal.
So, now I'm writing from my hotel room. As it turns out they were out of actual rooms with two beds, which is exactly the kind of room we reserved. As Jerry Seinfeld was quick to point out, it's not so much the taking of the reservation that is the challenge. It is the keeping of the reservation. But the kind folks behind the desk made good and put us up in a suite. Sweet. And swanky!
So all is well. Early day tomorrow. I'm going to get in bed. Which as I understand, is custom-designed for a great night's sleep. Or that's what the brochure said, anyway.
Live! From Chattanooga! It's a big Presbyterian church businesss meeting thingy or whatever!
Wow. Even the SNL intro doesn't help make it sound exciting.
10.6.05
Just in case...
Dear Reader,
You probably will not have the occasion to use the information contained here. But you'd better watch it anyway. You know... just in case.
Always looking out for you,
FP
You probably will not have the occasion to use the information contained here. But you'd better watch it anyway. You know... just in case.
Always looking out for you,
FP
9.6.05
South Park Funky Presbyterian
My friend Scott created this amazing likeness of me in South Park style. At least the mullet is gone now.
8.6.05
7.6.05
Coldplay's new album released today.
No, I haven't purchased it yet. However, I do have a family roadtrip planned next week to attend a meeting in Chattanooga. Perhaps I'll purchase it for the trip.
I found this quote is from a recent review particularly insightful...
The band also lacks one more essential ingredient that will prevent it from ever achieving legendary status—intensity. After three quality releases, we have seen Chris Martin and Co. open their hearts, but we have yet to see them burn. And that is why the calls for Coldplay to take the mantle from U2 are premature and without merit. From “I Will Follow” to “Yahweh,” U2 has burned like no other. Coldplay, on the other hand, has given us a nice glow to warm ourselves by in the cold night.
Click the link above to read the review in it's entirety. Also check out the rest of the website.
I found this quote is from a recent review particularly insightful...
The band also lacks one more essential ingredient that will prevent it from ever achieving legendary status—intensity. After three quality releases, we have seen Chris Martin and Co. open their hearts, but we have yet to see them burn. And that is why the calls for Coldplay to take the mantle from U2 are premature and without merit. From “I Will Follow” to “Yahweh,” U2 has burned like no other. Coldplay, on the other hand, has given us a nice glow to warm ourselves by in the cold night.
Click the link above to read the review in it's entirety. Also check out the rest of the website.
And these two were the best we could come up with as a nation?
A poor student, but at least he was handsome. Check out this link concerning the release of Kerry's academic records.
Originally uploaded by Greg Blosser.
6.6.05
Grace Central Logo Found Mysteriously Burned Into Hardwood Floor!
This is better than the potato chip shaped like Mother Theresea. It must be a sign... or an omen... or a clever photo-shopped desktop wallpaper now available for downloading at gracecentral.org
That's right, people... get your very own grace central desk top wallpaper at gracecentral.org Choose from three different designs. You can be the envy of all your coworkers.
Then, having created in them a sense of envy and in yourself a sense of superiority, you can all come to church Sunday night to repent of your sins. See how that works?
Thanks to Dan Fox for these funky designs. He's the man... but not the variety that keeps us down.
That's right, people... get your very own grace central desk top wallpaper at gracecentral.org Choose from three different designs. You can be the envy of all your coworkers.
Then, having created in them a sense of envy and in yourself a sense of superiority, you can all come to church Sunday night to repent of your sins. See how that works?
Thanks to Dan Fox for these funky designs. He's the man... but not the variety that keeps us down.
Funky P, why so many Sunday night posts?
I have trouble sleeping after I preach. Sermons leave me completely depleted. Physically, emotionally, spiritually... I got nothin' left. You'd think sleep would come easy. Nope.
Also, I regret to say that I think the recording got messed up so there may not be a new sermon to post on the grace central website this week. Maybe I'll find an older one to post in it's place.
Next week I've got GA in Chattanooga. Then a funeral in Michigan. Lot's of driving.
Driving makes me sleepy. Maybe I should think about driving.
The house is finally cooling down. It was hot in here today.
Charity and Zack sang a Gillian Welch cover during the collection of the offering tonight. I'm sorry, but Grace Central is the coolest stinkin' church ever. And I'm not just saying that 'cause I pastor there. I mean, come on. Gillian Welch? For the offeratory?! And Joe even played the banjo. They sounded great.
What should I listen to on the ipod to help induce sleep? Hmmm. I'm thinking either Mazzy Star (So that tonight I might see) or My Bloddy Valentine (Loveless) or Damien Rice (O)? Tough Call. Ooh, Ooh, Ooh! Sigur Ros! Dilemma solved.
good night.
Also, I regret to say that I think the recording got messed up so there may not be a new sermon to post on the grace central website this week. Maybe I'll find an older one to post in it's place.
Next week I've got GA in Chattanooga. Then a funeral in Michigan. Lot's of driving.
Driving makes me sleepy. Maybe I should think about driving.
The house is finally cooling down. It was hot in here today.
Charity and Zack sang a Gillian Welch cover during the collection of the offering tonight. I'm sorry, but Grace Central is the coolest stinkin' church ever. And I'm not just saying that 'cause I pastor there. I mean, come on. Gillian Welch? For the offeratory?! And Joe even played the banjo. They sounded great.
What should I listen to on the ipod to help induce sleep? Hmmm. I'm thinking either Mazzy Star (So that tonight I might see) or My Bloddy Valentine (Loveless) or Damien Rice (O)? Tough Call. Ooh, Ooh, Ooh! Sigur Ros! Dilemma solved.
good night.
5.6.05
Hilarity from Credenda Agenda
If I were a late night DJ and this were a radio station instead of a blog, I'd say "I'm sending this one out to KD in the NYC. I hope you're keepin' it real, my man." And then I'd drop the needle. Instead, I'll click "publish".
We would be postmodern, if we could only get the Leotard to fit. We would embrace the Permanent Possibility of Misconception, except it took us too long to find him, and when we did, he was picking his nose.
The truth is, the big sign outside the community center said, "Postmodern Emerging Church: All Welcome." But they didn't mean it. We couldn't even make it up the sidewalk. The guys out front remembered us from T-ball. And they saw the squirt guns.
Nobody wants to keep score in T-ball. And the guidance official behind the plate let some of the kids round the bases backward, or stay on base when they insisted that out was a narrow concept of being. So we did things. Things our mother made us say sorry for. But we didn't mean it. We still don't. Now they're accusing us of not taking the Leotard seriously, and we're not sure how they guessed.
We would be postmodern, if we could only get the Leotard to fit. We would embrace the Permanent Possibility of Misconception, except it took us too long to find him, and when we did, he was picking his nose.
The truth is, the big sign outside the community center said, "Postmodern Emerging Church: All Welcome." But they didn't mean it. We couldn't even make it up the sidewalk. The guys out front remembered us from T-ball. And they saw the squirt guns.
Nobody wants to keep score in T-ball. And the guidance official behind the plate let some of the kids round the bases backward, or stay on base when they insisted that out was a narrow concept of being. So we did things. Things our mother made us say sorry for. But we didn't mean it. We still don't. Now they're accusing us of not taking the Leotard seriously, and we're not sure how they guessed.
FP's June EMusic Downloads
Spoon
Gimme Fiction
M. Ward
Transistor Radio
Pedro the Lion
It's Hard to Find a Friend
Leave a comment for Fred.
Fred is serving as a chaplin in Iraq. Post a comment here to encourage him. He reads Funky Presbyterian. (Look, I know we're at war, but the man still has his priorities!)
A Provacative Article
Just thought I'd stir the pot and post this provacative article I read recently. I'd love to hear your perspective.
3.6.05
When Christians Judge
This Sunday at grace central I'll be speaking on the topic of judgmental Christians. Thought you might be interested in attending if you're in the area. See the grace central website for details (www.gracecentral.org). Also be sure to click the title link above for a short film.
Free sermon downloads at gracecentral.org
Check gracecentral.org for free sermons. They should be up very soon. A new one will be posted each week. Feel free to download, burn, copy and distribute as widely as you wish.
The Moment and the Mission
There comes a special moment in everyone's life, a moment for which that person was born. That special opportunity, when he seizes it, will fulfill his mission- a mission for which he is uniquely qualified. In that moment, he finds his greatness. It is his finest hour.
- Winston Churchill
And filled with jealousy, they arrested the apostles and put them in prison. But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the prison doors and brought them out and said "Go and stand in the temple and speak to the people all the words of this Life." And when they heard this, they entered the temple at daybreak and began to teach.
- The Acts of the Apostles 4: 17-21
- Winston Churchill
And filled with jealousy, they arrested the apostles and put them in prison. But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the prison doors and brought them out and said "Go and stand in the temple and speak to the people all the words of this Life." And when they heard this, they entered the temple at daybreak and began to teach.
- The Acts of the Apostles 4: 17-21
1.6.05
Venkman needs a blog
I once knew a boy who was a comedic genius. Maybe the greatest the world has ever known... or rather never known. Venkman needs a blog if for no other reason than to document the decline into adulthood. Venkman, you know who you are. Write, man! Write!
Online Dating for Calvinists and No I'm Not Joking
I just don't even know what to say about an online dating website with a portrait of John Calvin on the homepage. Other than SCM & KDNY, your prayers have been answered.
Fake U2 Stops Traffic
Check out this link my friend Ben sent me. Hilarious! I want to hang out with these guys.
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