Jesus Christ Restricted From Ministry in the Southern Baptist Churches!

As a Christian, former baptist and fellow evangelical, I am deeply concerned about the Southern Baptist Convention. Albert Mohler (president of a prominent SBC seminary) recently stated the following, effectively banning Jesus Christ from ministry in 99% of the Southern Baptist Convention:


"I can assure you of this: if you are associated with the use of beverage alcohol, I think I dare exaggerate not to say that 99% of all doors of ministry in the Southern Baptist Convention will be closed to you.  And I do not believe that is an exaggeration.  And let me tell you why...you may think, 'That just shows high-bound and unthinking the Southern Baptist Convention is.'  Why should the Southern Baptist Convention or a local church take a risk?  Why should it be in the position of deciding whether this is a problem or not.  I mean, you have to understand, why would the church take that on?  So, I am very concerned about this generation, and that's one of the reasons why our integrity with the denomination, with our churches, requires that we not only have this policy, but that we talk about it, we teach it and we enforce it."

In reply:

ATTENTION JESUS: While we at Grace Central Presbyterian Church understand that you've been known to imbibe adult beverages from time to time, we have carefully weighed the pros and cons and have decided that your services are worth "the risk". So please know that you are welcome to minister with us, to us, and among us in any way you so choose. Please bring the wine.