20.9.05
13.9.05
Why You Don't Like Church
See, now I think many times, church involvement provides an unsatisfactory experience because we make it entirely too safe. What do you think?
John Donne's Holy Sonnet XVIII
Show me, dear Christ, thy spouse so bright and clear.
What! is it she which on the other shore
Goes richly painted? or which, robbed and tore,
Laments and mourns in Germany and here?
Sleeps she a thousand, then peeps up one year?
Is she self-truth, and errs? now new, now outwore?
Doth she, and did she, and shall she evermore
On one, on seven, or on no hill appear?
Dwells she with us, or like adventuring knights
First travel we to seek, and then make love?
Betray, kind husband, thy spouse to our sights,
And let mine amorous soul court thy mild dove,
Who is most true and pleasing to thee then
When she is embraced and open to most men.
Should I Stay or Should I Go- by Dave Kurt
My church is pretty dysfunctional, but I love it—I think. Over a year ago, it came out that our senior pastor had been having an affair with our programming director. Chaos ensued as we came to understand the amazing damage this man had inflicted over years of ego-driven leadership. He'd tried to build a church with himself at the center and created all sorts of blurred boundaries that we later discovered would have huge ramifications for us down the road. We trudged through the best we could, and it was incredibly painful. Lots of people left the church for one reason or another. Four months ago it came out that our new programming director had been having an affair with our worship leader. More people left the church over this. Throughout both of these situations, people were cruel—vilifying the elder board, writing scathing, hurtful e-mails and lashing out at people in horrible ways.
Through all of this, I can't remember seriously considering leaving. Sure, I haven't always agreed with how things have been done, but I haven't left, and I'm trying to figure out why. I've watched our church's attendance dwindle to a fraction of what it was, and I continue to see good friends leave. As I sat this morning journaling, the thought came to my mind that maybe I'm missing out by staying at my church. Maybe all of these people who've bolted over the past year and a half have it right, and I'm way off base. Maybe I'm the kid playing in the skanky lukewarm mud puddle, thinking, "It doesn't get any better than this," while there's a beautiful beach across the street that I'm missing out on. I don't know.
I know that I love my church. I love that it's full of people totally different than me, full of a bunch of broken, sinful people, just like me. We're a church full of all sorts of recovering addicts, an ex-prostitute, an occasional ex-stripper, cheats, liars, thieves and adulterers. All sinners—just like me. I love that it's a group of people who are pursuing God however they can. It's a place that loves kids of all ages—my kids, junior high kids, high school kids. It's a place where kids can come with tattoos and piercings and get a big hug from Joanne when they walk in the door. It's a place where a 5-year-old can come in, and people like Shannon and Alyssa will hang with them, help connect them and show them by example what Jesus is all about. It's a place filled with people like Linda who go into the inner city of Detroit every weekend to bring the poor food when they're hungry and mittens and hats when they're cold. It's full of guys like Mark, Les and Mike who get up every Sunday morning and run the sound, video and light system. Their work is totally transparent to those around them, unless they screw up. Sometimes our music isn't great, sometimes we have people teaching who are less than polished (me), and sometimes we're just getting by.
I wonder how much easier it would be to leave and go to a church where I'm anonymous, where there are a whole bunch of people just like me, and I don't have to deal with those who annoy me. I think it would be so much easier to go to a church where people only see the part of me that I want them to see and not the junk below the surface. I think about how nice it would be to be a part of a big church, where the ugliness that is the reality of church is hidden below the surface.
I stay, and I'm not always sure that's the best way to go. Most of the time, I go to church on Sunday, see this group of misfits that I do church with, do life with, and I think to myself, "Where else would I go?" I've invested more than 10 years of myself in this place, these people, this vision, and I can't see myself doing it any other way. I've seen people changed at such a core level, who turn around and impact others, who in turn do the same. I've seen people whose lives have been horribly lost find salvation. I've seen myself go from being a self-centered, egoistical, duplicitous jerk to being just an egotistical jerk. I've gone deeper in my life with people at my church than I ever thought was possible, found healing I never thought could happen and grown deeper in my relationship with God than I knew I could go. I love this place. But then again, I'm probably missing something.
I take solace in one of my heroes, Mike Yaconelli, who was pretty familiar with going to an imperfect church:
It’s no wonder that most of us feel completely inadequate to do anything other than cook breakfast, and even then we wonder if we shouldn’t check our menu with a dietician, a nutritionist, a vitamatician and a chef.
Then we go to church, and we leave completely demoralized by the expert insights into the nuances of the original Greek and Hebrew, which are obviously out of our intellectual reach as laypersons; the clear and obvious principles of godly living that everyone should know, but of course, we don’t know; the unending litany of success stories that make anything that has happened to us pale in comparison. The worship band is so polished, the choir is so professional, the drama is so theatrical, and the multimedia presentation so state-of-the-art that we leave reaffirmed in our own incompetence. It is no wonder that you and I, the ordinary people of God, go to bed each night with a dull uneasiness, a gnawing ineptitude that is present when we drift off to sleep and there to greet us when we awaken in the morning.
We constantly hear complaints about the lethargy of the Church, the apathy of the congregation, the inactivity of the majority. Could it be that the collective passiveness of the church is the direct consequence of the expertise of the leadership? Could it be that the unwillingness to perform by the many is a natural response to the flawless performance of the few? Could it be that the authority of the expert has robbed the non-expert of any authority at all? Could it be that the unending parade of "heroes" has made it impossible to find the real heroes hiding in the ordinary and commonplace?
The power of the Church is not in its super-preachers, or its mega-structures, or its large institutions. The power of the Church is in its individual people whose sacrifices throughout everyday life have an authority no expert can match.
My church is not perfect and it's not full of heroes in the traditional church sense. It's full of misfits who've been radically affected by a risen Savior and are just trying to get by with what they've been given. It's a group of people who've been loved at the core and who can't help but share that love, telling others about it in any way they can. I love my church.I think I'll stick around for a while.
Through all of this, I can't remember seriously considering leaving. Sure, I haven't always agreed with how things have been done, but I haven't left, and I'm trying to figure out why. I've watched our church's attendance dwindle to a fraction of what it was, and I continue to see good friends leave. As I sat this morning journaling, the thought came to my mind that maybe I'm missing out by staying at my church. Maybe all of these people who've bolted over the past year and a half have it right, and I'm way off base. Maybe I'm the kid playing in the skanky lukewarm mud puddle, thinking, "It doesn't get any better than this," while there's a beautiful beach across the street that I'm missing out on. I don't know.
I know that I love my church. I love that it's full of people totally different than me, full of a bunch of broken, sinful people, just like me. We're a church full of all sorts of recovering addicts, an ex-prostitute, an occasional ex-stripper, cheats, liars, thieves and adulterers. All sinners—just like me. I love that it's a group of people who are pursuing God however they can. It's a place that loves kids of all ages—my kids, junior high kids, high school kids. It's a place where kids can come with tattoos and piercings and get a big hug from Joanne when they walk in the door. It's a place where a 5-year-old can come in, and people like Shannon and Alyssa will hang with them, help connect them and show them by example what Jesus is all about. It's a place filled with people like Linda who go into the inner city of Detroit every weekend to bring the poor food when they're hungry and mittens and hats when they're cold. It's full of guys like Mark, Les and Mike who get up every Sunday morning and run the sound, video and light system. Their work is totally transparent to those around them, unless they screw up. Sometimes our music isn't great, sometimes we have people teaching who are less than polished (me), and sometimes we're just getting by.
I wonder how much easier it would be to leave and go to a church where I'm anonymous, where there are a whole bunch of people just like me, and I don't have to deal with those who annoy me. I think it would be so much easier to go to a church where people only see the part of me that I want them to see and not the junk below the surface. I think about how nice it would be to be a part of a big church, where the ugliness that is the reality of church is hidden below the surface.
I stay, and I'm not always sure that's the best way to go. Most of the time, I go to church on Sunday, see this group of misfits that I do church with, do life with, and I think to myself, "Where else would I go?" I've invested more than 10 years of myself in this place, these people, this vision, and I can't see myself doing it any other way. I've seen people changed at such a core level, who turn around and impact others, who in turn do the same. I've seen people whose lives have been horribly lost find salvation. I've seen myself go from being a self-centered, egoistical, duplicitous jerk to being just an egotistical jerk. I've gone deeper in my life with people at my church than I ever thought was possible, found healing I never thought could happen and grown deeper in my relationship with God than I knew I could go. I love this place. But then again, I'm probably missing something.
I take solace in one of my heroes, Mike Yaconelli, who was pretty familiar with going to an imperfect church:
It’s no wonder that most of us feel completely inadequate to do anything other than cook breakfast, and even then we wonder if we shouldn’t check our menu with a dietician, a nutritionist, a vitamatician and a chef.
Then we go to church, and we leave completely demoralized by the expert insights into the nuances of the original Greek and Hebrew, which are obviously out of our intellectual reach as laypersons; the clear and obvious principles of godly living that everyone should know, but of course, we don’t know; the unending litany of success stories that make anything that has happened to us pale in comparison. The worship band is so polished, the choir is so professional, the drama is so theatrical, and the multimedia presentation so state-of-the-art that we leave reaffirmed in our own incompetence. It is no wonder that you and I, the ordinary people of God, go to bed each night with a dull uneasiness, a gnawing ineptitude that is present when we drift off to sleep and there to greet us when we awaken in the morning.
We constantly hear complaints about the lethargy of the Church, the apathy of the congregation, the inactivity of the majority. Could it be that the collective passiveness of the church is the direct consequence of the expertise of the leadership? Could it be that the unwillingness to perform by the many is a natural response to the flawless performance of the few? Could it be that the authority of the expert has robbed the non-expert of any authority at all? Could it be that the unending parade of "heroes" has made it impossible to find the real heroes hiding in the ordinary and commonplace?
The power of the Church is not in its super-preachers, or its mega-structures, or its large institutions. The power of the Church is in its individual people whose sacrifices throughout everyday life have an authority no expert can match.
My church is not perfect and it's not full of heroes in the traditional church sense. It's full of misfits who've been radically affected by a risen Savior and are just trying to get by with what they've been given. It's a group of people who've been loved at the core and who can't help but share that love, telling others about it in any way they can. I love my church.I think I'll stick around for a while.
11.9.05
Another reason I love my church.
Church. You know the deal. Musty old building. Bad lighting. Churchy hymns. Sermons that drone on and on. And little old ladies that knit pretty little mittens for the pastor's children. Most of that describes my church as well. Except that when ladies knit sweaters for my children they are safety orange with skulls and cross bones on them.
RIGHT ON! Thanks Nicole. Sammy loves it.
RIGHT ON! Thanks Nicole. Sammy loves it.
10.9.05
7.9.05
Something I just read...
"We don't always act as if we have access to an infinite and free source of endless creativity, because the obvious, the trite, and the cliche are safer than mystery and open-ended assertions. But Christians ought to exhibit an innate creativity if they are truly expressing the creative image of the Creator." - Karen L. Mulder, arts editor for Christianity Today
Recommended Listening: Half Handed Cloud
Here are some quotes from recent reviews. Click the link to listen to tracks on the website. Hope it makes you curious:
Who writes 25 songs that average less than a minute apiece? Who releases a CD that features piano, banjo, flute, drums, a power saw, French horn, tuba, rubber bands, birds chirping, kazoo, rubber duck, toy piano, and cello? Suffice it to say that John Ringhofer is wired a little differently than most of us. Much like Beck or Freedy Johnston, I can’t decide if he’s a talent waiting to be embraced by the mainstream or a schizophrenic madman recording his own personal insights for posterity.
Another reason you probably won’t see the Half-handed Cloud Vacation Bible School curriculum is the lyrics. They are incredibly Scriptural, ultimately pointing to God’s grace. However, these are not the family-friendly stories of the Bible; these are the “after-9 P.M.-on-broadcast-TV,” “rated M for mature audiences only” stories of the Bible.
So it's kind of like church, because there are all these Bible stories; but it's kind of like junior-high band, because too many instruments simultaneously are playing something somewhat-related; and kind of like college Astronomy, because sometimes I don't think anyone knows what the h-heck is going on. At any rate, it's an experience -- praise the Lord and pass the moonshine.
Who writes 25 songs that average less than a minute apiece? Who releases a CD that features piano, banjo, flute, drums, a power saw, French horn, tuba, rubber bands, birds chirping, kazoo, rubber duck, toy piano, and cello? Suffice it to say that John Ringhofer is wired a little differently than most of us. Much like Beck or Freedy Johnston, I can’t decide if he’s a talent waiting to be embraced by the mainstream or a schizophrenic madman recording his own personal insights for posterity.
Another reason you probably won’t see the Half-handed Cloud Vacation Bible School curriculum is the lyrics. They are incredibly Scriptural, ultimately pointing to God’s grace. However, these are not the family-friendly stories of the Bible; these are the “after-9 P.M.-on-broadcast-TV,” “rated M for mature audiences only” stories of the Bible.
So it's kind of like church, because there are all these Bible stories; but it's kind of like junior-high band, because too many instruments simultaneously are playing something somewhat-related; and kind of like college Astronomy, because sometimes I don't think anyone knows what the h-heck is going on. At any rate, it's an experience -- praise the Lord and pass the moonshine.
6.9.05
Over the Rhine Live at Little Brothers in Columbus, Ohio
Great show as usual. But I still miss Ric. Snapped this picture while we were there. Kinda ghostly, I think.
Funky Nostalgia: Top 100 of My Senior Year (wow, most of these really suck).
1. End Of The Road, Boyz II Men
2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix A-lot
3. Jump, Kris Kross
4. Save The Best For Last, Vanessa Williams
5. Baby-Baby-Baby, TLC
6. Tears In Heaven, Eric Clapton
7. My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It), En Vogue
8. Under The Bridge, Red Hot Chili Peppers
9. All 4 Love, Color Me Badd
10. Just Another Day, Jon Secada
11. I Love Your Smile, Shanice
12. To Be With You, Mr. Big
13. I'm Too Sexy, Right Said Fred
14. Black Or White, Michael Jackson
15. Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus 16.
16. I'll Be There, Mariah Carey
17. November Rain, Guns N' Roses
18. Life Is A Highway, Tom Cochrane
19. Remember The Time, Michael Jackson
20. Finally, CeCe Peniston
21. This Used To Be My Playground, Madonna
22. Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough, Patty Smyth
23. Can't Let Go, Mariah Carey
24. Jump Around, House Of Pain
25. Diamonds and Pearls, Prince and The N.P.G.
26. Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me, George Michael and Elton John
27. Masterpiece, Atlantic Starr
28. If You Asked Me To, Celine Dion
29. Giving Him Something He Can Feel, En Vogue
30. Live and Learn, Joe Public
31. Come and Talk To Me, Jodeci
32. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana
33. Humpin' Around, Bobby Brown
34. Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover, Sophie B. Hawkins
35. Tell Me What You Want Me To Do, Teven Campbell
36. Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg, TLC
37. It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday, Boyz II Men
38. Move This, Technotronic
39. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
40. Tennessee, Arrested Development
41. The Best Things In Life Are Free, Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson
42. Make It Happen, Mariah Carey
43. The One, Elton John
44. Set Adrift On Memory Bliss, P.M. Dawn
45. Stay, Shakespear's Sister
46. 2 Legit 2 Quit, Hammer
47. Please Don't Go, K.W.S.
48. Breakin' My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes), Mint Condition
49. Wishing On A Star, Cover Girls
50. She's Playing Hard To Get, Hi-Five
51. I'd Die Without You, P.M. Dawn
52. Good For Me, Amy Grant
53. All I Want, Toad The Wet Sprocket
54. When A Man Loves A Woman, Michael Bolton
55. I Can't Dance, Genesis
56. Hazard, Richard Marx
57. Mysterious Ways, U2
58. Too Funky, George Michael
59. How Do You Talk To An Angel, Heights
60. One, U2
61. Keep On Walkin', CeCe Peniston
62. Hold On My Heart, Genesis
63. The Way I Feel About You, Karyn White
64. Beauty and The Beast, Calms Dion and Peabo Bryson
65. Warm It Up, Kris Kross
66. In The Closet, Michael Jackson
67. People Everyday, Arrested Development
68. No Son Of Nine, Genesis
69. Wildside, Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch
70. Do I Have To Say The Words?, Bryan Adams
71. Friday I'm In Love, Cure
72. Everything About You, Ugly Kid Joe
73. Blowing Kisses In The Wind, Paula Abdul
74. Thought I'd Died and Gone To Heaven, Bryan Adams
75. Rhythm Is A Dancer, Snap
76. Addams Groove, Hammer
77. Missing You Now, Michael Bolton
78. Back To The Hotel, N2Deep
79. Everything Changes, Kathy Troccoli
80. Have You Ever Needed Somone So Bad, Def Leppard
81. Take This Heart, Richard Marx
82. When I Look Into Your Eyes, Firehouse
83. I Wanna Love You, Jade
84. Uhh Ahh, Boyz II Men
85. Real Love, Mary J. Blige
86. Justified and Ancient, The KLF
87. Slow Motion, Color Me Badd
88. What About Your Friends, TLC
89. Thinkin' Back, Color Me Badd
90. Would I Lie To You?, Charles and Eddie
91. That's What Love Is For, Amy Grant
92. Keep Coming Back, Richard Marx
93. Free Your Mind, En Vogue
94. Keep It Comin', Keith Sweat
95. Just Take My Heart, Mr. Big
96. I Will Remember You, Amy Grant
97. We Got A Love Thang, CeCe Peniston
98. Let's Get Rocked, Def Leppard
99. They Want EFX, Das EFX
100. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix A-lot
3. Jump, Kris Kross
4. Save The Best For Last, Vanessa Williams
5. Baby-Baby-Baby, TLC
6. Tears In Heaven, Eric Clapton
7. My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It), En Vogue
8. Under The Bridge, Red Hot Chili Peppers
9. All 4 Love, Color Me Badd
10. Just Another Day, Jon Secada
11. I Love Your Smile, Shanice
12. To Be With You, Mr. Big
13. I'm Too Sexy, Right Said Fred
14. Black Or White, Michael Jackson
15. Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus 16.
16. I'll Be There, Mariah Carey
17. November Rain, Guns N' Roses
18. Life Is A Highway, Tom Cochrane
19. Remember The Time, Michael Jackson
20. Finally, CeCe Peniston
21. This Used To Be My Playground, Madonna
22. Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough, Patty Smyth
23. Can't Let Go, Mariah Carey
24. Jump Around, House Of Pain
25. Diamonds and Pearls, Prince and The N.P.G.
26. Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me, George Michael and Elton John
27. Masterpiece, Atlantic Starr
28. If You Asked Me To, Celine Dion
29. Giving Him Something He Can Feel, En Vogue
30. Live and Learn, Joe Public
31. Come and Talk To Me, Jodeci
32. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana
33. Humpin' Around, Bobby Brown
34. Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover, Sophie B. Hawkins
35. Tell Me What You Want Me To Do, Teven Campbell
36. Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg, TLC
37. It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday, Boyz II Men
38. Move This, Technotronic
39. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
40. Tennessee, Arrested Development
41. The Best Things In Life Are Free, Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson
42. Make It Happen, Mariah Carey
43. The One, Elton John
44. Set Adrift On Memory Bliss, P.M. Dawn
45. Stay, Shakespear's Sister
46. 2 Legit 2 Quit, Hammer
47. Please Don't Go, K.W.S.
48. Breakin' My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes), Mint Condition
49. Wishing On A Star, Cover Girls
50. She's Playing Hard To Get, Hi-Five
51. I'd Die Without You, P.M. Dawn
52. Good For Me, Amy Grant
53. All I Want, Toad The Wet Sprocket
54. When A Man Loves A Woman, Michael Bolton
55. I Can't Dance, Genesis
56. Hazard, Richard Marx
57. Mysterious Ways, U2
58. Too Funky, George Michael
59. How Do You Talk To An Angel, Heights
60. One, U2
61. Keep On Walkin', CeCe Peniston
62. Hold On My Heart, Genesis
63. The Way I Feel About You, Karyn White
64. Beauty and The Beast, Calms Dion and Peabo Bryson
65. Warm It Up, Kris Kross
66. In The Closet, Michael Jackson
67. People Everyday, Arrested Development
68. No Son Of Nine, Genesis
69. Wildside, Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch
70. Do I Have To Say The Words?, Bryan Adams
71. Friday I'm In Love, Cure
72. Everything About You, Ugly Kid Joe
73. Blowing Kisses In The Wind, Paula Abdul
74. Thought I'd Died and Gone To Heaven, Bryan Adams
75. Rhythm Is A Dancer, Snap
76. Addams Groove, Hammer
77. Missing You Now, Michael Bolton
78. Back To The Hotel, N2Deep
79. Everything Changes, Kathy Troccoli
80. Have You Ever Needed Somone So Bad, Def Leppard
81. Take This Heart, Richard Marx
82. When I Look Into Your Eyes, Firehouse
83. I Wanna Love You, Jade
84. Uhh Ahh, Boyz II Men
85. Real Love, Mary J. Blige
86. Justified and Ancient, The KLF
87. Slow Motion, Color Me Badd
88. What About Your Friends, TLC
89. Thinkin' Back, Color Me Badd
90. Would I Lie To You?, Charles and Eddie
91. That's What Love Is For, Amy Grant
92. Keep Coming Back, Richard Marx
93. Free Your Mind, En Vogue
94. Keep It Comin', Keith Sweat
95. Just Take My Heart, Mr. Big
96. I Will Remember You, Amy Grant
97. We Got A Love Thang, CeCe Peniston
98. Let's Get Rocked, Def Leppard
99. They Want EFX, Das EFX
100. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
2.9.05
How the chaos in New Orleans makes sense of your world.
We've all been seeing the same images and hearing the same stories this week as the media coverage of the chaos in New Orleans continues. As I attempt to process all the horrible details, I've asked myself, "How in the world can I make sense of this chaos?" After some reflection I began to see that I'd been asking the question the wrong way. I had it backwards. This mess in New Orleans makes sense of my world.
Sunday at Grace Central we'll pray for the victims of Katrina and find out how the chaos in New Orleans makes sense of our world. If you're in Columbus I hope you'll attend.
Follow the link for the time, location (click 'gatherings') & a map (click 'map').
Sunday at Grace Central we'll pray for the victims of Katrina and find out how the chaos in New Orleans makes sense of our world. If you're in Columbus I hope you'll attend.
Follow the link for the time, location (click 'gatherings') & a map (click 'map').
Church celebrates fifty years of peace through irrelevance
Pastors think this kind of stuff is hilarious. (Thanks for your patience).
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