29.12.05

This is how tough Johhny Cash is...

I know most of you won't believe me, but I thought of this in my sleep last night. True.

Johnny Cash is so tough that once, back in the 60's he was doing drugs and he accidentally did all the drugs. In the world. This angered a bunch of central American drug cartells who went out of business as a result so they came to Nashville and shot Johnny Cash in the face. Johnny caught the bullet in his teeth and chewed on it for a few seconds. Then he pulled it out of his mouth like dental floss. As the drug cartells and various other onlookers stared in amazement he used the wire to restring his guitar, and spontanteoulsy wrote and performed the song "A Boy Named Sue" which sounded so good it made the drug cartells cry. And everybody knows drug cartells NEVER cry. Then Johhny Cash kicked them all in the teeth and became presdent of the united states.

7 comments:

Carla Jean said...

except only Shel Silverstein wrote "A Boy Named Sue."

(but otherwise, very funny.)

ps Rae told me to read your blog.

Greg said...

But that was only because Johnny Cash kicked him in the teeth and then shoved his arm down his throat wearing Silverstein like a glove as he gripped the pen with Silverstein's own fingers and wrote the song on the back of a small child who was in attendance for the purpose of hearing poetry for children. Johnny Cash said, "Sorry, kiddies, you're out of luck today. Uncle Shelly's got more important things to do today... like serve as my glove as I write this song to make drug cartells cry". But soon after Cash discarded Silverstein, as he remembered he only wears the color black. Silverstein was given song writing credit as compensation for having had Johnny cash's hand and most of his forearm in his esophagus for about fifteen minutes.

Then Johhny Cash visited Silverstein in the hospital where in the waiting room he authored both The Illiad and Moby Dick as well as prividing the authoritative translation of the Sepuigaint.

Very few people actually know that.

Charity said...

Now I see where Jack gets his storytelling powers.

Charity said...

Don't you mean powers of accurately reconstructing historical events?

Carla Jean said...

nice!

Anonymous said...

That is the gayest shit ive ever heard. You wanna know how tough Johny Cash is well he'd jump out of his grave and kick you in the balls for saying something gay like that. Marines Do It Better!!

Unknown said...

Johnny Cash is so fat... o wait wrong joke sry hes not fat hes awesome