4.5.05
Nic Armstrong & The Thieves is the greatest rock and roll band in the world ever, at least this afternoon anyway.
Of course my assessment of things like "greatest rock and roll band in the world ever" changes on a regular basis. But for right now... just this moment, they are the greatest ever. Check them out!
3.5.05
Deep Thoughts - by Jack Handy
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
God and Mowing
Mowing the lawn has to be my all time least favorite religious activity to engage in. And I imagine it will remain so unless and until I am ever martyred for my faith. Even then it would be a close call. So I wrote the post below to make it fun and exciting.
(And yes, mowing the lawin IS a religious activity. It is inherently theological. Discuss...)
(And yes, mowing the lawin IS a religious activity. It is inherently theological. Discuss...)
Lawn Care League Season 9 Underway!
Yesterday afternoon was opening day. It was the spring classic. The great competition for which sports fans the world over wait in anticipation: the first match of the 2005 BLCL (The Blosser Lawn Care League) season. Now in it's ninth season, the BLCL still only has two teams in active competition: Mower and Grass. But the limited number of competitors only testifies to the elite nature of the league.
The predictors, and prognosticators had been pontificating for weeks, their endless speculation and calculation reaching a furious high on Monday, just before the filler-up-ing of the ceremonial gasoline tank, the honor of which fell once again to yours truly, the founder of the league as well as co-owner of both clubs.
Most of the pundits had been saying the smart money was on team Mower. They quoted their statistics, "After eight seasons, team Mower is undefeated", ""team Grass has not yet made a post season appearance", "Grass has nothing to withstand the multiple horsepower of Mower's spinning blades of death". However, there were also a few experts that were holding out for an upset. "Team Grass has grown a lot in the off season", "reports from the preseason workouts say Mower is looking a little rusty", "Mower has dominated for years, but the effects of age are sure to kick in" "Everyone knows the mower offense is not as sharp as it once was, and how far can its performace slip in a league of this caliber before its dynasty ends?"
On and on the specualtion continued but no one could have forseen the events that were about to transpire. Grass looked on with it's cool motionless game face as Mower went through its pregame warm ups. There was the dusting off of the cob webs (literally). The priming of the fuel injector. And then the pull start.
Nothing.
Again the pull of the cord. Nothing. Again and again the rip start pull cord technique was proving futile to regain the spark necessary to even get team Mower onto the playing surface. It was shocking. And embarassing. Not in eight prior years of competition had team Mower displayed this level of failure. Sure, there had been mishaps. In 99 there was that rock that bent the blades. But mower pushed through the pain and finished strong. And of course we all recall the injury near the end of the 01 season that resulted in a total spark plug replacement procedure. But mower was able to rehab in the off season and come back strong for 02. But this was different. There were whispers of a "Mike Tyson-esque meltdown" and a "Bo Jackson-like career ending injury". Tragically these murmurs were exactly correct. Team Mower was unable to take the field and the ol' faithful champ was retired immediately. Mower did recieve a standing ovation and said something about considering himself "the luckiest gardening implement in the world" or something like that.
After the shocking upset, Grass commented, "We just wanted to go out there and give it a hundred and ten percent. We want to thank all the fans who've stuck by us through the last eight seasons and we wanna say we believe this victory is an indication of a new direction for the club. All we can do is go out there bring our best game and God-willing we'll be there in September when the championships roll around".
As team Grass celebrated in the front yard... (well um.. I guess team Grass IS the front yard) representatives of team Mower were already hard at work recruiting new talent. Late Monday afternoon team Mower signed a hot young prospect from the Lowes organization after negotiations reached an agreed price of approximately $84. This new athlete (ironically also named "Mower") is smaller, and lighter than his revered predecessor. Critics say he has no power and he is far too quiet to attract fans, while supporters of New Mower say his low cost and eco-friendly "push" style of play harkens back to the golden age of the sport and sets a good example of responsible behavior for the kids.
Later that same evening team Mower got a chance to see their new man perform. New Mower soundly defeated Grass once again. While the victory was not as quick nor as thorough as those of Old Mower, it was a good showing by a rookie in a tough league. And everyone expects New Mower to grow even stronger as he becomes more familiar with the Team Mower system and the peculiarities of the playing surface. New Mower was quoted as saying "I must admire the tenacity of Grass and its determination to come back time and again".
After the defeat Grass was devestated and declined comment.
The predictors, and prognosticators had been pontificating for weeks, their endless speculation and calculation reaching a furious high on Monday, just before the filler-up-ing of the ceremonial gasoline tank, the honor of which fell once again to yours truly, the founder of the league as well as co-owner of both clubs.
Most of the pundits had been saying the smart money was on team Mower. They quoted their statistics, "After eight seasons, team Mower is undefeated", ""team Grass has not yet made a post season appearance", "Grass has nothing to withstand the multiple horsepower of Mower's spinning blades of death". However, there were also a few experts that were holding out for an upset. "Team Grass has grown a lot in the off season", "reports from the preseason workouts say Mower is looking a little rusty", "Mower has dominated for years, but the effects of age are sure to kick in" "Everyone knows the mower offense is not as sharp as it once was, and how far can its performace slip in a league of this caliber before its dynasty ends?"
On and on the specualtion continued but no one could have forseen the events that were about to transpire. Grass looked on with it's cool motionless game face as Mower went through its pregame warm ups. There was the dusting off of the cob webs (literally). The priming of the fuel injector. And then the pull start.
Nothing.
Again the pull of the cord. Nothing. Again and again the rip start pull cord technique was proving futile to regain the spark necessary to even get team Mower onto the playing surface. It was shocking. And embarassing. Not in eight prior years of competition had team Mower displayed this level of failure. Sure, there had been mishaps. In 99 there was that rock that bent the blades. But mower pushed through the pain and finished strong. And of course we all recall the injury near the end of the 01 season that resulted in a total spark plug replacement procedure. But mower was able to rehab in the off season and come back strong for 02. But this was different. There were whispers of a "Mike Tyson-esque meltdown" and a "Bo Jackson-like career ending injury". Tragically these murmurs were exactly correct. Team Mower was unable to take the field and the ol' faithful champ was retired immediately. Mower did recieve a standing ovation and said something about considering himself "the luckiest gardening implement in the world" or something like that.
After the shocking upset, Grass commented, "We just wanted to go out there and give it a hundred and ten percent. We want to thank all the fans who've stuck by us through the last eight seasons and we wanna say we believe this victory is an indication of a new direction for the club. All we can do is go out there bring our best game and God-willing we'll be there in September when the championships roll around".
As team Grass celebrated in the front yard... (well um.. I guess team Grass IS the front yard) representatives of team Mower were already hard at work recruiting new talent. Late Monday afternoon team Mower signed a hot young prospect from the Lowes organization after negotiations reached an agreed price of approximately $84. This new athlete (ironically also named "Mower") is smaller, and lighter than his revered predecessor. Critics say he has no power and he is far too quiet to attract fans, while supporters of New Mower say his low cost and eco-friendly "push" style of play harkens back to the golden age of the sport and sets a good example of responsible behavior for the kids.
Later that same evening team Mower got a chance to see their new man perform. New Mower soundly defeated Grass once again. While the victory was not as quick nor as thorough as those of Old Mower, it was a good showing by a rookie in a tough league. And everyone expects New Mower to grow even stronger as he becomes more familiar with the Team Mower system and the peculiarities of the playing surface. New Mower was quoted as saying "I must admire the tenacity of Grass and its determination to come back time and again".
After the defeat Grass was devestated and declined comment.
2.5.05
Assigned Reading
Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller.
an excerpt:
The very scary thing about religion to me is that people actually believe God is who they think he is. By that I mean they have him all figured out, mapped out, and as my pastor, Rick says, "dissected and put into jars on the shelf". You've got a bunch of Catholics in Rome who think one way about God, and a bunch of Baptists in Texas who think another, and that isn't even the beginning. It goes on and on and on like this, and it makes me wonder if God created us in his image or if we created him in ours. And it isn't just religion, either. I met a guy not long ago who was very conservative and had opinions all over him, and he was saying why God agreed with his political ideas and why that made his political ideas right, the whole time he was talking to me I was thinking about those guys in Africa, and I was feeling like this guy with the opinions was presenting a kind of Jesus who didn't even exist. His Jesus was just an invention of his imagination, someone who more or less justified his position concerning a lot of different political opinions. Sitting there listening to him made me feel tired. People like that should have an island.
an excerpt:
The very scary thing about religion to me is that people actually believe God is who they think he is. By that I mean they have him all figured out, mapped out, and as my pastor, Rick says, "dissected and put into jars on the shelf". You've got a bunch of Catholics in Rome who think one way about God, and a bunch of Baptists in Texas who think another, and that isn't even the beginning. It goes on and on and on like this, and it makes me wonder if God created us in his image or if we created him in ours. And it isn't just religion, either. I met a guy not long ago who was very conservative and had opinions all over him, and he was saying why God agreed with his political ideas and why that made his political ideas right, the whole time he was talking to me I was thinking about those guys in Africa, and I was feeling like this guy with the opinions was presenting a kind of Jesus who didn't even exist. His Jesus was just an invention of his imagination, someone who more or less justified his position concerning a lot of different political opinions. Sitting there listening to him made me feel tired. People like that should have an island.
Secret Recipe
For your viewing enjoyment, here is one of my favorite Strong Bad emails. If you've seen this one, consider it a reprise. If you've not, then enjoy!
27.4.05
A Quote I read Today
" An artist is someone who cannot rest, who can never rest as long as there is one suffering creature in this world. Along with Plato's divine madness there is also a divine discontent, a longing to find the melody in the dischords of chaos, the rhyme in the cacophany, the surprised smile in time of stress or strain.
It is not that what is is not enough for it is; it is that what is had been disarranged, and is crying out to be put in place. Perhaps the artist longs to sleep well every night, to eat anything without indigestion; to feel no moral qualms; to turn off the telvision news and make a bologna sandwich after seeing the devastation and death caused by famine and drought and earthquake and flood. But the artist cannot manage this normalcy. Vision keeps breaking through, and must find means of expression".
- Madeliene L'Engle from Walking on Water
It is not that what is is not enough for it is; it is that what is had been disarranged, and is crying out to be put in place. Perhaps the artist longs to sleep well every night, to eat anything without indigestion; to feel no moral qualms; to turn off the telvision news and make a bologna sandwich after seeing the devastation and death caused by famine and drought and earthquake and flood. But the artist cannot manage this normalcy. Vision keeps breaking through, and must find means of expression".
- Madeliene L'Engle from Walking on Water
26.4.05
Advantage Number 137 of Having a Five Year Old Son:
Watch neato cartoons while maintining dignified, adult exterior. This one is cool. Makes me wanna run around the living room making lightsaber noises. I mean... I appreciate it for it's artistic merits. ahem.
25.4.05
Ok, we forgive you. Now don't blow it.
Renowned collegiate running back and crybaby Maurice Clarett surprised the world by being drafted in the third round by the Denver Broncos. In the past two years this kid alienated just about every one possible. He took illegal money from boosters, filed false police reports, bad mouthed his school on the eve of their national championship game, accused the coaching staff and atheletic director of NCAA violations, and sued his future employer, the National Football League. But he was also a 19 year old numbskull at the time. Now he's a 22 year old numbskull with a million bucks in his pocket. I really do hope he does ok and gets his attitude straightened out. Time will tell if he has matured or not. Perhaps the clearest indicator will not be how he handles the success, but how he handles it if he fails. Everybody deserves a second chance. Ok, Mo. Here's your second chance. Don't blow it.
23.4.05
Be the difference.
Ok. Most of you who read this blog are like minded enough to have one very big thing in common with the funky presbyterian. We are completely unsatisfied with the way the world functions (malfuntions!) and think things could be a whole lot better. Here is at least one way I'm sure most of you could be involved and make your community a better place for the people who need it the most. Be a Court Appointed Special Advocate for a child who has been abused, or neglected. I am thinking of a few of you specifically! If you think I mean you, you are probably right. Let's not just shake our heads and "tsk, tsk". Let's get something done. I plan to become a CASA just as soon as the formal leadership at Grace Central is in place. To misquote Bruce Cockburn "Let's kick the darkness 'till it bleeds daylight". Click the link above. Make your life an instrument of redemption in the life of a child.
Mr. Mom for the weekend
Charity took Sam and went to Michigan to visit her grandmother this week, leaving Jack and I at home to do the "Men's Weekend" thing which involves the watching of the cartoons, the playing of the star wars, the eating of the donuts, that kind of business. Anyway, I sent Jack upstairs to get dressed this morning and he emerges wearing a pair of baseball pants (you know the kind that come down just past the knee) and a superman pajama shirt. He was weilding lightsabers. (Plural). Not really what I had in mind, but I guess it'll do.
What's Rockin' the Reverend?
This week it's the entire Ryan Adams catalog. Heartbreaker, Demolition, Gold, Rock n Roll, Love is Hell Volumes 1 and 2, and soon there will be a new album out entitled Cold Roses. I know lot's of people don't like this guy. He's arrogant and self destructive. He's a loud mouth. I know all of this. But I also know he can write the heck out of a song. If you are thinking about checking him out, it is generally agreed upon that his best album is heartbreaker, though I actually think gold is far superior. (Rock and Roll is the least necessary album). Hurry up and listen to him now so when he self-destructs you can say you were a fan BEFORE he went "Kurt Cobain" on us.
21.4.05
Grace Central Recieves New Members
Sunday, April 17th Grace Central recieved about fifteen new people into membership. Here's the photo. We are growing slowly but surely.
20.4.05
Ha!
CHICAGO (AP) - Packing on the pounds is not nearly as deadly as the government thought, according to a new calculation from the CDC that found people who are modestly overweight actually have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight...
18.4.05
A Quote
For when you come to think of it, the only way to love a person is not, as the stereotyped Christian notion is, to coddle them and bring them soup when they are sick, but by listening to them and seeing and believing in the god, in the poet, in them. For by doing this, you keep the god and the poet alive and make it flourish. - Brenda Ueland
The quote above was snatched from a blog I read (birty.us). It makes a very good point. Unless that is, you are sick and in need of soup. Then it makes a bad point.
The quote above was snatched from a blog I read (birty.us). It makes a very good point. Unless that is, you are sick and in need of soup. Then it makes a bad point.
15.4.05
April 15th is Jackie Robinson Day!
Happy Jackie Robinson Day. In celebration of this fine holiday, I will be coaching the Robot Monkeys this evening. The Robot Monkeys are a co-ed t-ball team in the city rec center league for ages 5-7.
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